When Insults had class.
Ricardo
Posts: 10,636
What's up polkies.
These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband I'd poison your tea."
He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
- Winston Churchill, in response.
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts.. . for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx
These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband I'd poison your tea."
He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
- Winston Churchill, in response.
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts.. . for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx
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2008 & 2010 Football Pool WINNER
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Thank God for different opinions. Imagine the world if we all wanted the same woman
Post edited by Ricardo on
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Thread title should have been "when people had class ". Good insults too btw.HT SYSTEM-
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That was great and thank you!
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Those are a riot, thanks for the Sat. morning laugh Ricardo!Marantz AV-7705 PrePro, Classé 5 channel 200wpc Amp, Oppo 103 BluRay, Rotel RCD-1072 CDP, Sony XBR-49X800E TV, Polk S60 Main Speakers, Polk ES30 Center Channel, Polk S15 Surround Speakers SVS SB12-NSD x2
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One of my favorites:
"Mr. Attlee is a very modest man, indeed he has much to be modest about." - Winston ChurchillNorh ACA-2B tube pre, Sumo Andromeda SS amp. Magneplanar MMG speakers, M&K MX1250 Subwoofer, Pro-Ject RM1.3 Genie TT with Sumiko Pearl MM cart., Keces DAC, Cambridge Audio Azur 640c CD player -
-That's fantastic and classic thanks-
-Here are a couple I wrote, hope y'all enjoy-
"At what point and time, when trimming your nose hair, did you realize to keep your mouth closed?"
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"You say your husband uses Viagara, I would think a better option would be for you to take a Vergara pill"Onkyo TX-NR636
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The fine art of tact has went by the wayside! Those are great!DKG999
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Nice read on a Saturday morning. Thanks
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Awesome....to be able to turn a phrase as they once did...
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This thread made my day. If only my mind could worked fast enough for me to use some wonderful insults or replys like these.
Thank you -
I haven't read this list in a while. Classic and timeless. Thanks!"The secret of happiness is freedom. The secret of freedom is courage." Thucydides
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" I would describe her as a word not commonly used in high society..............outside of the kennel. " - some movie I saw years ago.>
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>This message has been scanned by the NSA and found to be free of harmful intent.< -
This thread made my day. If only my mind could worked fast enough for me to use some wonderful insults or replys like these.
Thank you
Yeah, I suffer that as well, you think of the perfect comeback, but in most cases, too late...Onkyo TX-NR636
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Center - polkaudio CSI A6
Sub - polkaudio PSW10
Sub2 - polkaudio PSW505
Surrounds - polkaudio Monitor 40 series II
Front Height - polkaudio Monitor 40's
Audio Outdoors
Pioneer VSX 406 - polkaudio Atrium 5
Shed
Sony junker str-dn2010 with Sony bookshelf floor models and polkaudio R150's
Shed 2
Nakamichi soundbar -
Glad see your list had 2 of the Grand Masters: Oscar Wilde and Groucho Marx.Sal Palooza
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Subtle, with a possible secondary meaning. As displayed in another thread, by a CP'er. This is, IMO, good.Why don't you stop by, catch a group of us talking and repeat the above? Some insights are best given in person.Sal Palooza
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Those are great!
Here's another Winston Churchill classic:
When seated next to a female contemporary at a dinner one night, Winston had clearly had a little too much to drink. His table mate at one point turned to him and said, " Why Mr. Churchill, I do believe you're drunk!"
To which Winston replied, "Yes, madam, I am drunk. But you're ugly and I shall be sober in the morning.""Science is suppose to explain observations not dismiss them as impossible" - Norm on AA; 2.3TL's w/sonicaps/mills/jantzen inductors, Gimpod's boards, Lg Solen SDA inductors, RD-0198's, MW's dynamatted, Armaflex speaker gaskets, H-nuts, brass spikes, Cardas CCGR BP's, upgraded IC Cable, Black Hole Damping Sheet strips, interior of cabinets sealed with Loctite Power Grab, AI-1 interface with 1000VA A-L transformer -
"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
My apologies in advance to Walter Kerr, because I am definitley going to shamelessly steal this one lolLiving Room 2 Channel -
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....I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and you're going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you.Herman Blume - Rushmore
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JimKellyfan wrote: »Yeah, I suffer that as well, you think of the perfect comeback, but in most cases, too late...
The French actually have a term for it... L'esprit de l'escalier. Which when literally translated means "staircase wit".I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and you're going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you.Herman Blume - Rushmore -
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Thanks for the refresher. Makes me want to grab paper and pen again.Husband, Father, Son, Brother, Friend.
