Just Translated: CIA Intercept

markmarc
markmarc Posts: 2,309
edited October 2011 in The Clubhouse
From Human Resources, Al Qaeda Headquarters. Cave Six

Due to the unexpected heavy increase in involuntary martyrdoms, the following changes have been made to the benefits package of all members effective immediately:
Upon arrival in Paradise, the long-held tradition of 72 virgins has been replaced by a 15 minute "Meet and Greet" with our founder Osama BinLaden. Please observe the proper dress code of extremely light clothing. Non-perfumed SPF 100 or better lotion is highly recommended.
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Comments

  • polkfarmboy
    polkfarmboy Posts: 5,703
    edited October 2011
    Why does them guys wana go have sex with virgins after they blow s*** up anyways ?
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  • Face
    Face Posts: 14,340
    edited October 2011
    Virgins are boring.
    "He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you." Friedrich Nietzsche
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  • jbooker82
    jbooker82 Posts: 1,627
    edited October 2011
    Yea why not the biggest freak nympho you can find. That sounds like way more fun.
    AVR: Onkyo Tx-NR808
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    Speaker Cable: AudioQuest Type 8
    IC: AudioQuest Black Mamba II
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  • Airplay355
    Airplay355 Posts: 4,298
    edited October 2011
    I'm only in if I can have at least 73...
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  • HTguru1982
    HTguru1982 Posts: 1,066
    edited October 2011
    72 virgins. That's a lot of blood. I'm squeamish - no thanks.
    Display: Sony 42" LCD
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    Fronts: NHT 2.5
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    Surrounds: NHT Super One
    Subwoofer: SVS PB10-ISD
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  • halo71
    halo71 Posts: 4,602
    edited October 2011
    72 knots on a log is more like it!
    --Gary--
    Onkyo Integra M504, Bottlehead Foreplay III, Denon SACD, Thiel CS2.3, NHT VT-2, VT-3 and Evolution T6, Infinity RSIIIa, SDA1C and a few dozen other speakers around the house I change in and out.
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  • BeefJerky
    BeefJerky Posts: 1,320
    edited October 2011
    The catch is that they don't specify which gender the virgins will be. However, I suppose that anything would be a step up from the camels...
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  • nooshinjohn
    nooshinjohn Posts: 25,395
    edited October 2011
    There appears to be a typo in the translation. The only sunblock shown to have any benefit in hell is one-billion SPF, though in the special "Virgin Room" any form of sunblock is known to be highly ineffective.
    The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD

    “When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson
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  • stuwee
    stuwee Posts: 1,508
    edited October 2011
    BeefJerky wrote: »
    The catch is that they don't specify which gender the virgins will be. However, I suppose that anything would be a step up from the camels...

    What a racist, sexiest, totally insensitive statement...



    That rocks dude!! :twisted: :lol: :twisted:
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