We need a Rodney.....

dekuda
dekuda Posts: 756
edited January 2013 in The Clubhouse
Times are tough,where is Rodney Dangerfield when you need him? In his memory, read them like he would have..........


I tell yah, the recession has hit everybody really hard..........

Yesterday my neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.


I tell yah....hits tough !


Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

A stripper was injured when her audience showered her with rolls of Pennies while she danced.

The other day I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

My bank returned my check marked "Insufficient Funds," I call them and ask if they meant you or me.


I tell ya, it's hard


McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!


I tell yah.....


A truckload of Americans were caught sneaking into Mexico.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

I tell you it's really tough out there........

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, you know...., I called the
Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck !



Hope it did not offend anyone. We need a Rodney Dangerfield to make us laugh in these times. ....RIP
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Comments

  • nooshinjohn
    nooshinjohn Posts: 25,396
    edited August 2011
    So wheres the friggin Karma?:tongue:

    I was listening to The Blues Brothers tonight and wishin I had a wish sandwich.:cool:
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    “When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson
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  • dekuda
    dekuda Posts: 756
    edited August 2011
    nooshinjohn wrote: »
    So wheres the friggin Karma?:tongue:

    I was listening to The Blues Brothers tonight and wishin I had a wish sandwich.:cool:

    Humor:rolleyes:
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  • nooshinjohn
    nooshinjohn Posts: 25,396
    edited August 2011
    dekuda wrote: »
    Humor:rolleyes:

    See...


    What'd I tell ya!

    No RESPECT!

    None.

    When I was a kid I got no respect. When my parents got divorced there was a custody fight over me ... and no one showed up
    The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD

    “When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson
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  • tonyb
    tonyb Posts: 32,957
    edited August 2011
    Gotta love old Rodney....great one liners. He was responsible for giving alot of comedians their start in the biz.

    Caddyshack is still funny as all hell. Murry...Knight...perfection.
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  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 1,225
    edited August 2011
    nooshinjohn wrote: »
    So wheres the friggin Karma?:tongue:

    I was listening to The Blues Brothers tonight and wishin I had a wish sandwich.:cool:

    I had 4 fried chickens and a coke. :cool:
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  • tonyb
    tonyb Posts: 32,957
    edited August 2011
    nap wrote: »
    I had 4 fried chickens and a coke. :cool:

    Isn't it "Dry white toast". ??
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  • cheezeitz51
    cheezeitz51 Posts: 14
    edited August 2011
    dekuda wrote: »


    The other day I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

    As I read that one a commercial for the book of Mormon or something on spotify came on. Weird
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  • zingo
    zingo Posts: 11,258
    edited August 2011
    I got a Rodney:

    rodneystucky.jpg
    Jake
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  • camp21178
    camp21178 Posts: 273
    edited August 2011
    I know I'm ugly, you kiddin' I told the doctor I wanted a vasectomy but he said that with my face I didn't need one.
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  • decal
    decal Posts: 3,205
    edited January 2013
    sex4.jpg
    If you can't hear a difference, don't waste your money.
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  • Systems
    Systems Posts: 14,873
    edited January 2013
    A picture is now only worth 200 words.

    :lol:

    Now thats a tough economy!
    Rodney will always be a LEGEND!:cheesygrin:
    Testing
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    Testing
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  • dromunds
    dromunds Posts: 10,009
    edited January 2013
    Check out "Back To School" from about 1985. It's a great movie. Not only Rodney, but Sam Kinison.
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  • GlennDog
    GlennDog Posts: 3,120
    edited January 2013
    Rodneys Hi-Lar-E -Us . . . thanks for sharing, dekuda

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  • Systems
    Systems Posts: 14,873
    edited January 2013
    I CANNOT GET ENOUGH of Rodney!

    Legend, and prolly one of the funniest people to ever walk this planet IMHO!:biggrin:
    Testing
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  • teekay0007
    teekay0007 Posts: 2,289
    edited January 2013
    A few Caddyshack faves:

    "Hey Baby, how ya doin'?....Yeah, you're all right...You must have really been somethin' before electricity!"

    "Nice hat!.....Ya get a free bowl of soup with that thing?.......Oh, but it looks good on you!" (to Judge Schmails) :rolleyes:


    Thanks, decal, for digging this old "Karma" up. Ol' Rodney was a one-of-a-kind. I saw him live at the old Carlton Club (stood where part of the Mall of America complex now stands) in Bloomington, MN back in the late '80s. It was hard to even keep up with his jokes 'cuz you were laughing so hard from the previous ones - left the show with an aching gut and face from all the laughter.

    "My sex life, I tell ya...yeah, it's pretty non-existant. Ever try to shoot pool with a piece of rope?" Poor Rodney, I think he passed before the rise of the little blue pill. :cry:
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  • dkg999
    dkg999 Posts: 5,647
    edited January 2013
    He was a classic! And truly funny!
    DKG999
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  • gudnoyez
    gudnoyez Posts: 8,114
    edited January 2013
    Yep Rodney was the best, we just watched our favorite Rodney movie the other day, that being Easy Money, the messerschmidt scene, or when he was keeping the ol roach motel in the medicene cabinet, his daughters boyfriend Julio, we have seen that movie as many times as the first Vacation with Chevy Chase.
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  • halo71
    halo71 Posts: 4,602
    edited January 2013
    nooshinjohn wrote: »
    I was listening to The Blues Brothers tonight and wishin I had a wish sandwich.:cool:

    Any 'rubber bissscuits"?
    --Gary--
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  • scottyboy76
    scottyboy76 Posts: 2,905
    edited January 2013
    rodney, johnathan winters, and don rickles, the best, thanks for the grins.
    humpty dumpty was pushed
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