Why is life hard sometimes

bigaudiofanatic
bigaudiofanatic Posts: 4,415
edited January 2011 in The Clubhouse
I just got done breaking up with my girlfriend which I never really felt anything for. "hence the break up" We went out for 3 months and after being friends prior to going out. I know I broke up because I did not not want to continue a lie.

She is hurting and in pain as well as myself. Why are relationships so hard to break up from I feel like s#$t. I do not like hurting people at all but yet I had to to stop a lie its a catch 22.
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Comments

  • Amherst
    Amherst Posts: 695
    edited January 2011
    You did the right thing, don't look back. I just wrapped up a 28 year lie. They all hurt.
    Good Luck man.
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  • cnh
    cnh Posts: 13,284
    edited January 2011
    I hear you. Just hang in there. In the end it's all a learning experience, part of knowing who you are, where you end and another begins. And, believe it or not, it gets easier for a lot of us with age. But that doesn't mean that everyone of us didn't feel such a hurt sometime in our lives. It's what makes us human and allows us to empathize.

    Take care of yourself...!

    cnh
    Currently orbiting Bowie's Blackstar.!

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  • TECHNOKID
    TECHNOKID Posts: 4,298
    edited January 2011
    bigaudiofanatic wrote: »
    I just got done breaking up with my girlfriend which I never really felt anything for. "hence the break up" We went out for 3 months and after being friends prior to going out. I know I broke up because I did not not want to continue a lie.

    She is hurting and in pain as well as myself. Why are relationships so hard to break up from I feel like s@#t. I do not like hurting people at all but yet I had to to stop a lie its a catch 22.
    You had to do what was right for her and your self however, it is truth and part of life that there is always someone suffering from a break-up. Happened to me once, I knew while the lady was a good person she was definitely not the type for my life. It took a while to break it up due to her manipulation and guilt trip she tried to impose on me but the thruth finally prevailed and I broke up not looking back. If you are 100% she can not bring happyness to your life, don't look back and surely don't feel guilty. Think about it, you didn't marry her and got her hopes up for years.

    Cheers!
    TK
    DARE TO SOAR:
    “Your attitude, almost always determine your altitude in life” ;)
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  • dorourke07
    dorourke07 Posts: 298
    edited January 2011
    Have lunch with her in three months and realize its better you two are friends. It could even be something you two laugh about 10 years from now. "remember that time we tried to date.......
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  • danger boy
    danger boy Posts: 15,722
    edited January 2011
    sorry but 3 month's is not that long.. but I do understand. breaking up is hard to do... they say that breaking up is hard to do... I think there is a song in there somewhere. :tongue:

    sorry man... let it go and move on.. be single for awhile.. then look for a new gf
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  • disneyjoe7
    disneyjoe7 Posts: 11,435
    edited January 2011
    I ended a 19 year marriage and think that was a lie. Got a new girl friend and life is good now, feels much better. If you felt it was a lie, move on is all I can say.

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  • Amherst
    Amherst Posts: 695
    edited January 2011
    disneyjoe7 wrote: »
    I ended a 19 year marriage and think that was a lie. Got a new girl friend and life is good now, feels much better. If you felt it was a lie, move on is all I can say.

    Glad to hear you are on the upswing Joe.
    Parasound C1, T3, HCA-3500, HCA-2205A, P/DD1550, Pioneer DV-79avi, Oppo BDP-83, WD Media Server W/HDD,
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  • Demiurge
    Demiurge Posts: 10,874
    edited January 2011
    bigaudiofanatic wrote: »
    I just got done breaking up with my girlfriend which I never really felt anything for. "hence the break up" We went out for 3 months and after being friends prior to going out. I know I broke up because I did not not want to continue a lie.

    She is hurting and in pain as well as myself. Why are relationships so hard to break up from I feel like s@#t. I do not like hurting people at all but yet I had to to stop a lie its a catch 22.

    If you didn't feel anything for her, how is it hard? She's the one who has top get over it, and she'll realize you did her a favor. Nothing worse than staying in a relationship you don't want to be in. Try breaking up from a multi-year relationship you didn't want to get out of and then talk about how hard it is.

    Anyways, you're better off.
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  • dkg999
    dkg999 Posts: 5,647
    edited January 2011
    What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.
    DKG999
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    Music System: Magnepan 1.6QR, SVS SB12+, ARC pre, Parasound HCA1500 vertically bi-amped, Jolida CDP, Pro-Ject RM5.1SE TT, Pro-Ject TubeBox SE phono pre, SBT, PS Audio DLIII DAC
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  • decal
    decal Posts: 3,205
    edited January 2011
    Why do people feel the need to air their personal business on internet forums? Just curious,human nature is hard to understand sometimes. Tissue anyone?
    If you can't hear a difference, don't waste your money.
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  • greg2350
    greg2350 Posts: 544
    edited January 2011
    decal wrote: »
    Why do people feel the need to air their personal business on internet forums? Just curious,human nature is hard to understand sometimes. Tissue anyone?

    umm maybe because alot of people in here know each other personally:rolleyes:
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  • Polkersince85
    Polkersince85 Posts: 2,883
    edited January 2011
    You'll get over it. There are worse things to go thru. Try living the "truth" and have her go away forever.

    Rest in Peace M.E.M.
    >
    >
    >This message has been scanned by the NSA and found to be free of harmful intent.<
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  • z3r0m4g3
    z3r0m4g3 Posts: 40
    edited January 2011
    Good stuff, welcome to the doldrums of everyday life, try losing three friends in Iraq, its only a girl, and the hurt is good, gets rid of weakness, and allows for the one hurting to realize they are human, and gives them the hope and realization that better things are to come. Keep your head up.
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  • thesurfer
    thesurfer Posts: 574
    edited January 2011
    decal wrote: »
    Why do people feel the need to air their personal business on internet forums? Just curious,human nature is hard to understand sometimes. Tissue anyone?
    I think to a lot of people on this forum is like a brotherhood, and sisterhood of friends,,, Those here, take care of there own,,, Those that have and share a passion, for music, also share there thoughts, with those that have a common interest,, if you have no positive input, dont bother replying at all,,
    Not an Audiophile, just a dude who loves music, and decent gear to hear it with.
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  • Amherst
    Amherst Posts: 695
    edited January 2011
    thesurfer wrote: »
    I think to a lot of people on this forum is like a brotherhood, and sisterhood of friends,,, Those here, take care of there own,,, Those that have and share a passion, for music, also share there thoughts, with those that have a common interest,, if you have no positive input, dont bother replying at all,,

    Nicely said.
    Parasound C1, T3, HCA-3500, HCA-2205A, P/DD1550, Pioneer DV-79avi, Oppo BDP-83, WD Media Server W/HDD,
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  • ben62670
    ben62670 Posts: 15,969
    edited January 2011
    Easy Mr Softie. You didn't get married to her, you have no assets to split, and you have no kids with her(i hope:eek:). You're a big boy now.
    Take care Bro
    Ben
    Please. Please contact me a ben62670 @ yahoo.com. Make sure to include who you are, and you are from Polk so I don't delete your email. Also I am now physically unable to work on any projects. If you need help let these guys know. There are many people who will help if you let them know where you are.
    Thanks
    Ben
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  • Sherardp
    Sherardp Posts: 8,038
    edited January 2011
    decal wrote: »
    Why do people feel the need to air their personal business on internet forums? Just curious,human nature is hard to understand sometimes. Tissue anyone?

    We're more just a forum in some respect. It's a smaller group here, damn near a family. Some of the guys know each other personally. Stick around and you'll get the feel for it.

    Hang in there Big A, it gets better bro. Go easy, keep ya head up.
    Shoot the jumper.....................BALLIN.............!!!!!

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  • maximillian
    maximillian Posts: 2,144
    edited January 2011
    If you are in pain then it wasn't totally a lie. You did indeed care for her. So it's not like you "used" her. It simply didn't work out. Thus it's best to end it early on before something more serious comes of it. Breaking a 3 month relationship is WAY easier than a 1 year plus relationship. In the end you will both be more mature from the experience.

    BTW, some SO's will understand this and you might be able to have a great friendship afterward. Others may not and they can end up being the scary ex's. Thus tread carefully.
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  • Willow
    Willow Posts: 11,006
    edited January 2011
    They could make a movie about cp, the brotherhood of traveling gear! Lots of us have been on here for years and we get to know each other.
    Back to the op you did what you needed to do and it only feels tough cause you care for her. If it was a one nighter you wouldn't feel bad. This shows you care! No one can say how he should or shouldn't feel. We were not part of this relationship.
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  • amulford
    amulford Posts: 5,020
    edited January 2011
    Don't sweat it, man. I feel ya. It's for the best. though. You guys are probably better friends than lovers for each other.

    There's alot worse s@#t that could happen, so just keep on keepin on. You get too down, come on up and we'll do something to get your mind off your trouble...
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  • steveinaz
    steveinaz Posts: 19,538
    edited January 2011
    Bev & I were friends for about 5yrs before falling into an opportunity to date--we were both worried about how it might affect us; but we both made a promise from day 1, that if either one of us were'nt "feeling it" we would come out and say it---early on--no hard feelings. Thankfully it worked out.

    You did the right thing.
    Source: Bluesound Node 2i - Preamp/DAC: Benchmark DAC2 DX - Amp: Parasound Halo A21 - Speakers: MartinLogan Motion 60XTi - Shop Rig: Yamaha A-S501 Integrated - Shop Spkrs: Elac Debut 2.0 B5.2
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  • Joe08867
    Joe08867 Posts: 3,919
    edited January 2011
    Better off doing it now than in a year or two. It was best for both of you. She will see that in time and you will feel better about it as well.

    Sucks either way.
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  • mudwrx
    mudwrx Posts: 367
    edited January 2011
    It's called life. This type of thing has happened to most, if not all, of us. Sounds like you did the right thing.

    And one thing for sure, time heals all wounds. You'll both move on and be better for it.
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  • jflail2
    jflail2 Posts: 2,868
    edited January 2011
    Such is life man. I feel your pain, believe me. I dated/ was engaged to a girl for 8+ years. We finally figured out it wasn't working for either one of us, so we ended up splitting up.

    Still makes me sad when I look back on it, as I've yet to find another girl who is as kind/good as she was. But in the end, if it's not working, it's not working.
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