Do you ever worry about the load capacity of your toilet seat?

Jstas
Jstas Posts: 14,809
edited December 2010 in The Clubhouse
If so, prepare to have your worries swept away!

Here, I give you, a carbon fiber toilet seat!

2-carbon-fiber-toilet-seat_big.jpg

No, my friends, this is not an acrylic seat covered in a vinyl applique! No sir! Only the BEST for you!

THIS! This fine piece of human engineering prowess is a 100% real, solid carbon fiber toilet seat made out of a 2 x 2 twill weave 550,000 psi tensile strength carbon fiber! The final seat is coated in a layer of acrylic for a smooth finish so your hind end doesn't chaff as you slide in to position on the throne for your daily constitutional! (Helps keep you from getting that pattern on your face like you fell asleep on a tennis racket when you're shouting at Ralph who lives in the porcelain throne!)

I know what you're wondering! At what cost can your bring this marvel to us, John? How many children and limbs must I part with to attain this coddling piece of asstacular glory? Well, I'll tell you! Ten thousand bucks? NO! Let me tell you my friends, I have worked out a special deal, just for you! I've managed to gain a fair number of these units, just for YOU! The price is not ten thousand dollars! The price is not even FIVE thousand dollars! No! The price is even lower than that! What's that? ONE thousand you say? No! No my friends, I would feel dishonest at even that low, low price! No, this will not even cost you five HUNDRED dollars! No my friends, for 6 EASY payments of $6.99 plus shipping and handling, you can be the proud owner of one of these fine, fine pieces of engineering!

So call now! Operators are standing by!

http://store.carbonfibergear.com/carbon-fiber-toilet-seat#
Expert Moron Extraordinaire

You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you!
Post edited by Jstas on
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Comments

  • pearsall001
    pearsall001 Posts: 5,067
    edited December 2010
    Damn...they don't have it in blue. Shucks! :biggrin:
    "2 Channel & 11.2 HT "Two Channel:Magnepan LRSSchiit Audio Freya S - SS preConsonance Ref 50 - Tube preParasound HALO A21+ 2 channel ampBluesound NODE 2i streameriFi NEO iDSD DAC Oppo BDP-93KEF KC62 sub Home Theater:Full blown 11.2 set up.
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  • nguyendot
    nguyendot Posts: 3,594
    edited December 2010
    6 payments of 6.99? it shows 279.99.....
    Main Surround -
    Epson 8350 Projector/ Elite Screens 120" / Pioneer Elite SC-35 / Sunfire Signature / Focal Chorus 716s / Focal Chorus CC / Polk MC80 / Polk PSW150 sub

    Bedroom - Sharp Aquos 70" 650 / Pioneer SC-1222k / Polk RT-55 / Polk CS-250

    Den - Rotel RSP-1068 / Threshold CAS-2 / Boston VR-M60 / BDP-05FD
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  • TNRabbit
    TNRabbit Posts: 2,168
    edited December 2010
    Lifetime Warranty?
    TNRabbit
    NO Polk Audio Equipment :eek:
    Sunfire TG-IV
    Ashly 1001 Active Crossover
    Rane PEQ-15 Parametric Equalizers x 2
    Sunfire Cinema Grand Signature Seven
    Carver AL-III Speakers
    Klipsch RT-12d Subwoofer
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  • vmaxer
    vmaxer Posts: 5,117
    edited December 2010
    •Due to the nature of the product, sales are final.:tongue::mad:
    Pio Elete Pro 520
    Panamax 5400-EX
    Sunfire TGP 5
    Micro Seiki DD-40 - Lyra-Dorian and Denon DL-160
    PS Audio GCPH phono pre
    Sunfire CG 200 X 5
    Sunfire CG Sig 405 X 5
    OPPO BDP-83 SE
    SDA SRS 1.2TL Sonicaps and Mills
    Ctr CS1000p
    Sur - FX1000 x 4
    SUB - SVS PB2-Plus

    Workkout room:
    Sony Bravia XBR- 32-Inch 1080p
    Onkyo TX-DS898
    GFA 555
    Yamaha DVD-S1800BL/SACD
    Ft - SDA 1C

    Not being used:
    RTi 38's -4
    RT55i's - 2
    RT25i's -2, using other 2 in shop
    LSI 15's
    CSi40
    PSW 404
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  • TNRabbit
    TNRabbit Posts: 2,168
    edited December 2010
    More like 6 payments of $46.95~
    TNRabbit
    NO Polk Audio Equipment :eek:
    Sunfire TG-IV
    Ashly 1001 Active Crossover
    Rane PEQ-15 Parametric Equalizers x 2
    Sunfire Cinema Grand Signature Seven
    Carver AL-III Speakers
    Klipsch RT-12d Subwoofer
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  • ESavinon
    ESavinon Posts: 3,066
    edited December 2010
    Finally! This is what carbon fiber was invented for. Now my toilet can withstand the blasts from my **** without cracking.
    SRT For Life; SDA Forever!

    The SRT SEISMIC System:
    Four main satellite speakers, six powered subs, two dedicated for LFE channel, two center speakers for over/under screen placement and three Control Centers. Amaze your friends, terrorize your neighbors, seize the audio bragging rights for your state. Go ahead, buy it; you only go around once.
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  • steveinaz
    steveinaz Posts: 19,538
    edited December 2010
    This is an awesome invention, I was trying to tweak my seat for maximum horsepower, this may be the ticket.
    Source: Bluesound Node 2i - Preamp/DAC: Benchmark DAC2 DX - Amp: Parasound Halo A21 - Speakers: MartinLogan Motion 60XTi - Shop Rig: Yamaha A-S501 Integrated - Shop Spkrs: Elac Debut 2.0 B5.2
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  • George Grand
    George Grand Posts: 12,258
    edited December 2010
    They're out of stock. No s@#t.
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  • muncybob
    muncybob Posts: 3,039
    edited December 2010
    George Grand wrote: »
    They're out of stock. No s@#t.

    Thanx!!! I needed that! :)
    Yep, my name really is Bob.
    Parasound HCA1500A(indoor sound) and HCA1000(outdoor sound), Dynaco PAS4, Denon DP1200 w/Shure V15 Type V and Jico SAS stylus, Marantz UD7007, Polk L600, Rythmik L12 sub.
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  • Fongolio
    Fongolio Posts: 3,516
    edited December 2010
    I've actually worried more about the load capacity of the toilet itself some days!!:confused::eek:
    SDA-1C (full mods)
    Carver TFM-55
    NAD 1130 Pre-amp
    Rega Planar 3 TT/Shelter 501 MkII
    The Clamp
    Revox A77 Mk IV Dolby reel to reel
    Thorens TD160/Mission 774 arm/Stanton 881S Shibata
    Nakamichi CR7 Cassette Deck
    Rotel RCD-855 with modified tube output stage
    Cambridge Audio DACmagic Plus
    ADC Soundshaper 3 EQ
    Ben's IC's
    Nitty Gritty 1.5FI RCM
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  • Poee7R
    Poee7R Posts: 904
    edited December 2010
    Al Bundy would shed a tear over that seat.


    Dave
    Once again we meet at last.
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  • quadzilla
    quadzilla Posts: 1,543
    edited December 2010
    What Fongo said... But now I can get a carbon fiber toilet seat to go with my carbon fiber bike and carbon fiber bike seat. I'm simply standing beside myself with joy to be sitting here today.
    Turntable: Empire 208
    Arm: Rega 300
    Cart: Shelter 501 III
    Phono Pre: Aural Thrills
    Digital: Pioneer DV-79ai
    Pre: Conrad Johnson ET3 SE
    Amp: Conrad Johnson Evolution 2000
    Cables: Cardas Neutral Reference
    Speakers: SDA 2.3TL, heavily modified
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  • joeparaski
    joeparaski Posts: 1,865
    edited December 2010
    Damn!!..they're out of stock...I'm sooooo disappointed.

    Joe
    Amplifiers: 1-SAE Mark IV, 4-SAE 2400, 1-SAE 2500, 2-SAE 2600, 1-Buttkicker BKA 1000N w/2-tactile transducers. Sources: Sony BDP CX7000es, Sony CX300/CX400/CX450/CX455, SAE 8000 tuner, Akai 4000D R2R, Technics 1100A TT, Epson 8500UB with Carada 100". Speakers:Polk SDA SRS, 3.1TL, FXi5, FXi3, 2-SVS 20-29, Yamaha, SVS center sub. Power:2-Monster HTS3500, Furman M-8D & RR16 Plus. 2-SAE 4000 X-overs, SAE 5000a noise reduction, MSB Link DAC III, MSB Powerbase, Behringer 2496, Monarchy DIP 24/96.
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  • Jstas
    Jstas Posts: 14,809
    edited December 2010
    joeparaski wrote: »
    Damn!!..they're out of stock...I'm sooooo disappointed.

    Joe

    Me too. And the fact that they don't come in white.
    Expert Moron Extraordinaire

    You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you!
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  • concealer404
    concealer404 Posts: 7,440
    edited December 2010
    I prefer my toilet seats to be made out of billet cnc'd titanium.
    I don't read the newsssspaperssss because dey aaaallllllllll...... have ugly print.

    Living Room: B&K Reference 5 S2 / Parasound HCA-1000A / Emotiva XDA-2 / Pioneer BDP-51FD / Paradigm 11se MKiii

    Desk: Schiit Magni 2 Uber / Schiit Modi 2 Uber / ISK HD9999

    Office: Schiit Magni 2 Uber / Schiit Modi 2 Uber / Dynaco SCA-80Q / Paradigm Legend V.3

    HT: Denon AVR-X3400H / Sony UBP-X700 / RT16 / CS350LS / RT7 / SVS PB1000
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  • polkfarmboy
    polkfarmboy Posts: 5,703
    edited December 2010
    I'm holding out for a seat you can you pee on without having to wipe that also recycles the alcohol content
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  • Joe08867
    Joe08867 Posts: 3,919
    edited December 2010
    The Crappy one I got at Home Depot still works with my lard **** on it.
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  • skipf
    skipf Posts: 694
    edited December 2010
    The important question is how does it affect the tonal quality of the thunder bucket. Improved bass response? Clean, crisp mids and highs? Are there any $500 sets of mounting screws designed specifically to provide a dead flat frequency response? Are there special dampers available to eliminate resonation?
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  • mrbigbluelight
    mrbigbluelight Posts: 9,708
    edited December 2010
    Regard load capacity ....... uhm ....... nevermind. :redface:

    I'm just sorry to hear that "Operators are standing by". Why don't they let them have a seat on the Crapmaster 2000 ?
    Sal Palooza
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  • Demiurge
    Demiurge Posts: 10,874
    edited December 2010
    Do you ever worry about the load capacity of your toilet seat?

    I'm more concerned with the load capacity of the toilet bowl.
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  • Timothy Smith
    Timothy Smith Posts: 764
    edited December 2010
    What they don't tell you is that it requires the purchase and use of a special kevlar plunger with titanium handle available separately at extra cost.
    Norh ACA-2B tube pre, Sumo Andromeda SS amp. Magneplanar MMG speakers, M&K MX1250 Subwoofer, Pro-Ject RM1.3 Genie TT with Sumiko Pearl MM cart., Keces DAC, Cambridge Audio Azur 640c CD player
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  • Disc Jockey
    Disc Jockey Posts: 1,013
    edited December 2010
    "Be weary of other less expensive seats that may use a wood core"

    Yes, I am very, very tired of those less expensive seats. :rolleyes:
    "The secret of happiness is freedom. The secret of freedom is courage." Thucydides
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  • sucks2beme
    sucks2beme Posts: 5,601
    edited December 2010
    Gee, a carbon fiber racing toilet seat?
    Now all I need is a **** pipe.
    And maybe some little neon running lights.
    "The legitimate powers of government extend to such acts only as are injurious to others. But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods, or no god. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg." --Thomas Jefferson
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  • tonyb
    tonyb Posts: 32,956
    edited December 2010
    Darn thing isn't even heated,forgetaboutit.

    A real mans seat has....
    A sensor that detects your presence, and automatically lifts the lid.
    A soft padded seat.
    A seat that is also heated.
    A seat that massages your rear end while thinking if you have one more shot left in ya.
    A seat that automatically flushes when you get up and thanks you vocally when your done.
    Now thats my idea of a real mans seat.
    HT SYSTEM-
    Sony 850c 4k
    Pioneer elite vhx 21
    Sony 4k BRP
    SVS SB-2000
    Polk Sig. 20's
    Polk FX500 surrounds

    Cables-
    Acoustic zen Satori speaker cables
    Acoustic zen Matrix 2 IC's
    Wireworld eclipse 7 ic's
    Audio metallurgy ga-o digital cable

    Kitchen

    Sonos zp90
    Grant Fidelity tube dac
    B&k 1420
    lsi 9's
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  • BlueFox
    BlueFox Posts: 15,251
    edited December 2010
    No. The thought never occured to me.
    Lumin X1 file player, Westminster Labs interconnect cable
    Sony XA-5400ES SACD; Pass XP-22 pre; X600.5 amps
    Magico S5 MKII Mcast Rose speakers; SPOD spikes

    Shunyata Triton v3/Typhon QR on source, Denali 2000 (2) on amps
    Shunyata Sigma XLR analog ICs, Sigma speaker cables
    Shunyata Sigma HC (2), Sigma Analog, Sigma Digital, Z Anaconda (3) power cables

    Mapleshade Samson V.3 four shelf solid maple rack, Micropoint brass footers
    Three 20 amp circuits.
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  • mrbigbluelight
    mrbigbluelight Posts: 9,708
    edited December 2010
    tonyb wrote: »
    Darn thing isn't even heated,forgetaboutit.

    A real mans seat has....
    A sensor that detects your presence, and automatically lifts the lid.
    A soft padded seat.
    A seat that is also heated.
    A seat that massages your rear end while thinking if you have one more shot left in ya.
    A seat that automatically flushes when you get up and thanks you vocally when your done.
    Now thats my idea of a real mans seat.


    ..... or a good wife !
    Sal Palooza
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  • hearingimpared
    hearingimpared Posts: 21,137
    edited December 2010
    ROTFLMAO!!!:biggrin:
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  • Earthy
    Earthy Posts: 488
    edited December 2010
    Now we know what the government was spending $1000 on for toilet seats. It's a must have for the stealth planes you know. :tongue:
    Polk Audio SDA SRS 2.3TL
    Parasound Halo A21
    Parasound Halo P3

    Home theater
    Polk LSiM 707, 706c, 703, 705
    Polk Blackstone TL3 for height
    SVS PB12-ISD Sub
    Denon AVR-X6400h
    Parasound Halo A51
    LG OLED65B7A
    Sony UBPX800
    Logitech Harmony Elite
    PC LSiM 703
    Spare LSIM 702 and 706c

    Home Theater #2
    Polk Audio LS70, CS350LS, LSF/X, S4
    Onkyo TX-NR808



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