Financial Advisor?

Amherst

Currently I am embroiled in a divorce. Think the audio rig may have put her over the top. Jobless and broke at the moment. But I still have hope of saving my home, maybe. I should be returning to the ranks of the employed very soon.

Has anyone on these boards any experience with a professional financial advisor? If so, what was your take and did they really help for the outlay.

muncybob

Sorry to hear of the big D....no personal experience but from some close friends I can say a good attorney should be all you need unless you have some very complicated financial matters. Good luck!

Amherst

Thanks MuncyBob, I asked this because advise I've recieved so far says that I am a prime canidate for debt restructuring and to get all the details right a financial advisor would be in order to save what is left.

I do know of a person or two who have been burned using these type services in the past and makes me leary of where to turn.

ben62670

Kids involved? Assets involved? Don't lawyer up right away. Let her get one if she wishes and rack up her attorney costs with motions and phone calls if she starts playing dirty. If you get a lawyer right off the bat both lawyers will suck both of you dry, and you may have to pay her fees. Be careful.
Ben

Amherst

Good advise Ben. She is lawered up and so far, seems really trying to keep all the lawyer bull to a minimum, thankfully. There are kids but basically they are grown with a little time left on the youngest. I have consulted myself but am waiting for her to move things forward, ball in her court.

Want to keep the home if I can swing it.

shack

Amherst wrote:

Thanks MuncyBob, I asked this because advise I've recieved so far says that I am a prime canidate for debt restructuring and to get all the details right a financial advisor would be in order to save what is left.

I do know of a person or two who have been burned using these type services in the past and makes me leary of where to turn.

Financial advisors who "help" people who are "a prime candidate for debt restructuring" are rarely anything other than fee collectors who claim to attempt to arrange a restructure or debt reduction for you and in the end tell you "sorry, I couldn't get the financial institution to work with you"...after they have collected your fee of course. They almost never help the client except to reduce the assets the client has to deal with (surprisingly in the amount equal to their fee). They don't have any special knowledge or secret programs to help you. Your divorce attorney may have someone in their office who can advise as part of their services. Or there are several govt. agencies that while not the easiest to deal with...have as much knowledge as the so called financial advisors...and the price is typically FREE.
Or just talk to the lender and see what they can do. That is all the advisor would do anyway...except maybe tell you to get really behind on your debt so the lender will work with you...which is not a particularly good plan if you ever want to borrow money again at a reasonable rate.

vmaxer

ben62670 wrote: »

Kids involved? Assets involved? Don't lawyer up right away. Let her get one if she wishes and rack up her attorney costs with motions and phone calls if she starts playing dirty. If you get a lawyer right off the bat both lawyers will suck both of you dry, and you may have to pay her fees. Be careful.
Ben

Having been through 3 divorces, almost 4 :redface:

I can tell you is is best to get an attorney first and file first. A good attorney can make a big difference and has more options if he is first to file.

TORI3

shack wrote: »

Or there are several govt. agencies that while not the easiest to deal with...have as much knowledge as the so called financial advisors...and the price is typically FREE.

The non-profit social services agencies are usually a good bet...and like Shack said, they're often free. I had a pretty sharp friend who worked here many years ago and she repeatedly mentioned good things about the organization. I don't believe you have to be from Minnesota to receive their free service.

Hope the holidays treat you well.

ben62670

vmaxer wrote: »

Having been through 3 divorces, almost 4 :redface:

I can tell you is is best to get an attorney first and file first. A good attorney can make a big difference and has more options if he is first to file.

He doesn't have much in the way of assets and all the attorneys want to do is sponge your money. Most care nothing about what is going on with you. I am not saying to not get one, but to wait. Nothing is set in stone till the final divorce. Now if she was cheating and he had lots of assets then I would say file first, but still wait to lawyer up. Getting a lawyer is only saying to the woman is "Do you want to fight" Lawyers love that. Keep a soft tone with her and don't battle in or out of the courts. Even 95% of women say that the man gets screwed in most divorces.

Amherst

I am listening fellas, much appreciated all help and ideas.

I am really lucky even though we have split that she realizes her crushing me will serve no future purpose going forward with the family. She is a sensible woman when the heat goes off.
A good thing.

We are talking regularly and trying to work toword a better future for all concerned. The question now is if I can actually handle what remains and being broke.

Spent the evening tonight with an old friend who is somewhat of a financial guru and many good ideas were tossed around. He seems to think I can pull it off with sound moves and a little good fortune. Time to talk to the lenders.

Amherst

Tori thanks for the link. Will check into it, the more ideas the better.

Amherst

vmaxer wrote: »

Having been through 3 divorces, almost 4 :redface:

I can tell you is is best to get an attorney first and file first. A good attorney can make a big difference and has more options if he is first to file.

Damn man! And you are still pumping air!

Not sure if I can get past the one. :redface:

vmaxer

Amherst wrote: »

Damn man! And you are still pumping air!

Not sure if I can get past the one. :redface:

I guess I am a bit different, and admit it. I refuse to be unhappy and don't take a lot of ****. I just move on. I would love to have the money I have given to attorney's:redface:

On the other hand, I would rather give the money to the attorney than the ex I have actually received a settlement from the parents of one ex that tried to screw me out of money that I had invested in a house that she owned and quit claimed to them prior to the divorce.....She saw it coming and tried to be smart and turned out to backfire on her.

Good attorneys are worth it

I could write a book on it:rolleyes:

Amherst

vmaxer wrote: »

I guess I am a bit different, and admit it. I refuse to be unhappy and don't take a lot of ****. I just move on. I would love to have the money I have given to attorney's:redface:

On the other hand, I would rather give the money to the attorney than the ex I have actually received a settlement from the parents of one ex that tried to screw me out of money that I had invested in a house that she owned and quit claimed to them prior to the divorce.....She saw it coming and tried to be smart and turned out to backfire on her.

Good attorneys are worth it

I could write a book on it:rolleyes:

Very interesting and a very complicated time to sort out.

The ability to have some trust left in each other or not will most likely determine the path taken for us.

Systems

I have been through it twice!
Its tough at the time, and a real mess.
A good lawyer is all you need.
They know the financial crowd anyway, and use them on almost all cases they deal with.

Now when I get attached to a woman, I just tell her I hate her and give her half my sh$t!:biggrin:

tonyb

pepster wrote: »

I have been through it twice!
Its tough at the time, and a real mess.
A good lawyer is all you need.
They know the financial crowd anyway, and use them on almost all cases they deal with.

Now when I get attached to a woman, I just tell her I hate her and give her half my sh$t!:biggrin:

If I tell you I love you, will you give me half your sh&t ?

disneyjoe7

That sucks sorry too hear... feel your pain. Just finalized a divorce 3 weeks ago.

If she has Lawyered up, I think its best to see what she whats first. It could be uncontested in the end, and work out to your best. Lawyers to Lawyers get all in the end, leaving you nothing. See what she wants and see if you feel its fair or not. At this point I hope you too are talking as this will make things easier.

Amherst

Followed your thread back in the spring DJ7. Hope things have smoothed over for you.

We are working together here. I just need to clean up the financial carnage and move forward.
Maybe I have the chance to catch up with you end of summer and relax, if the cards fall right.

reeltrouble1

remember money can't buy happiness, however, it can certainly fund an eternal search for it.

sorry to hear, I would nix an advisor, Shack though is pretty sharp when he's off the slow ride.....

Amherst

reeltrouble1 wrote: »

remember money can't buy happiness, however, it can certainly fund an eternal search for it.

sorry to hear, I would nix an advisor, Shack though is pretty sharp when he's off the slow ride.....

Yea, what the Shack man said is what I was thinking. The position now for me is not a matter of happiness, it's basic financial survival. Always had good credit and do not want that path, plus where to set roots when the smoke clears.

Last night an old buddie offered his help and he is sharp. I will follow him going forward.

vmaxer

Amherst wrote: »

Very interesting and a very complicated time to sort out.

The ability to have some trust left in each other or not will most likely determine the path taken for us.

You are correct. It is very difficult to deal with the decisions when feelings/emotions are involved. That's another reason to consult with an attorney.

I got screwed before by thinking I could trust while dealing with it and decided never again. I try to act very quick and get things started in my favor, it is easy to back off later, but hard to do the opposite. I also have had kids involved which makes it more important.

Every situation is different, and every couple is different. You may have one you can work with and trust, they are rare.

Good luck, I hope everything works out for you.

cstmar01

shack wrote: »

Financial advisors who "help" people who are "a prime candidate for debt restructuring" are rarely anything other than fee collectors who claim to attempt to arrange a restructure or debt reduction for you and in the end tell you "sorry, I couldn't get the financial institution to work with you"...after they have collected your fee of course. They almost never help the client except to reduce the assets the client has to deal with (surprisingly in the amount equal to their fee). They don't have any special knowledge or secret programs to help you. Your divorce attorney may have someone in their office who can advise as part of their services. Or there are several govt. agencies that while not the easiest to deal with...have as much knowledge as the so called financial advisors...and the price is typically FREE.
Or just talk to the lender and see what they can do. That is all the advisor would do anyway...except maybe tell you to get really behind on your debt so the lender will work with you...which is not a particularly good plan if you ever want to borrow money again at a reasonable rate.

Yeah. That happens a lot and its not good. People catch wind that well if I stop paying then the bank will want to work with me. In the end if you stop paying us we file a money judgment. And then your going to be paying either way.

Also depending on the size of the bank etc sometimes it can work if you just work directly with the lender to try get a mod etc or work with directly as normally as a lender its annoying to work with outside companies because half the time they have no idea what they are talking about nor ever do anything and you pay for them.


When I read Fin. adv. I think of the guy that does all my stock and insurance work etc for me.