What would you do?

PerfectCreature

So I am at work, I just got hired for a night security job at my college. My wife calls me and says that one of my friends has called her and has said some stuff about me to degrade me and such so that my wifes views would be tainted. He then proceeds to try to tell her that I am fooling around on her and that her marrying me was a mistake. He goes on about how he likes her and has for some time. After which he would not let her hang up from the phone. I had a close friend of mine that was there who sort of tapped the line since we have 3 separate phone sets hooked up so there is a phone in every room and can confirm that this is true.

The background on my friend is this. He was in a relationship with a girl for two years, he heard someone say she was cheating on him and before he could prove anything he broke up with her and now he wants her back. Well, she is with this other guy and from what I can understand she is trying to figure out how far he will go to get her back after making a mistake. So, he is not really there at the moment and rather emotional.

I am clueless as to how I should go about this since he asked my wife not to tell me and of course she did.
Now. What would you guys do...I mean, I am a little afraid he may try and pull something given the state he is in....
I mean, I don't want to put my wife in danger or anything...you know?
But I also want to do something about....
Thanks....

nooshinjohn

With friends like that who needs enemies. I say you are perfectly justified in serving him his teeth for dinner, but it is safer to just tell this guy to take a hike and never speak to you or your wife ever again. If he continues to come around, a restraining order would not be to far out of line.

gfong

Just call/tell the guy to go pound salt!
Come on man, Cowboy up here and stand up for your wife! Your wife told you for a reason!
No need for violence or threats, just say, "go away!"

Stop all the drama or your marriage will not survive! Get rid of the guy(s)!

agfrost

I think it would be safe to stop referring to him as "one of your friends."

mrbiron

So your now ex-friend dumped his sister and wants her back. Whaaat....thats what people in maine do

First off, severe all ties with this chucklehead. Then you should contact his ex-sister-girlfriend and feed her 9lbs of bullshite on him. The only contact they'll have after that is for the occassional family dinner and maybe x-mas.

I second the

teeth for dinner

PerfectCreature

I don't want to get my wife or her friends in trouble with him....I want to target only him.
How can I go about doing this? This is the only thing that stumps me.
Plus, I really could win in a fight with him due to the size difference he is a black belt, also is an ex marine and is 6'4" and about 260 pounds...so that is out of the question.
I just never expected this....ever.

mrbiron

Plus, I really could win in a fight with him due to the size difference he is a black belt, also is an ex marine and is 6'4" and about 260 pounds

I think you meant to say "COULDN'T"

Sounds like a gorilla!!...He isn't worth the energy nor the pain he WOULD inflict. Drop him like a bad habit and move on with your OWN life. If your wife knows what was said isn't true, then i guess jokes on him.
Leave it alone, finish your schooling (only guessing) and become more successful in life than him.

That's all i got.:D

Mike Kozak

Find out what he drives, and get some round toothpicks. Stick them in the locks and break them off, do not forget the trunk. If he has to unlock his car with a key, when he puts the key in the lock, the wood will mushroom and he will need new locks!

PerfectCreature

Ah man that is the funniest thing I have ever heard. Does it really work though?

dkg999

How does somebody not let someone they are talking to on the phone hang up the phone? There's problems on both ends of that conversation!

messiah

If you don't own a gun yet, make the purchase, and both of you go spend some quality time at the range. I've never met a 6'4" black belt ex-marine that is bulletproof. The peace of mind that a loaded firearm at the ready brings is amazing. This is all just for self defense btw.

mdaudioguy

Dude, seriously?

Like sands through the hourglass, these are the days of our lives... (my mom used to watch that).

kawizx9r

Who cares if he's an ex-marine and a black belt, I've brought down bigger guys and I'm pretty damn short (ex-marine here too but only 5'7").

Both getting a handgun (to include the both of you learning how to use and handle it properly) or a restraining order are good ideas depending how often you see the guy or how close he lives. Last thing you need is someone stirring **** up in your marriage, don't people understand alot of us have our own lives and BS to deal with already?


JK about the fighting thing, physical violence would be the last thing I'd suggest.

PerfectCreature

Oh well. I am sure I will find a way to frame him.
I am just really dissapointed. As for the range? I already own a Glock. It was a wedding gift non-the-less from my father.
Anyway. I will wait it out, I am sure an opportunity will come...
I believe that good things come to those who wait....

mrbigbluelight

A couple of things stick in my mind:

1. You're working a night security job at your college (good work, btw !).
So Sgt. Carter calls your wife after he obviously knows you're gone.
:mad:
2. He would not let her hang up from the phone.
:mad:
Although I can see the viewpoint that no one can MAKE you stay on the
phone, I assume that she felt for her safety she shouldn't antagonize him
and/or didn't want to hurt his feelings.
A guy in the same situation, getting a midnight call, would be more prone
to say, "Hey, _*(@#$__(*%_, do you know what (*_(*&%+_ time it is ?"
Women are different, and that's a good thing ... up to a point.
3. She immediately called you.

That's a REAL good thing.
Shows she has good judgement AND trusts you. (make sure you keep that trust)

I'd suggest you call Sgt. Carter, let him know that you understand he's hurting, BUT that his phone call to your wife was way out of line.
So far out of line, in fact, that he's not to contact you or your wife for at least 6 months and that if he does, you'll get a restraining order. No debating, no if-and-or-buts: no contact or it is the legal system.

If he's still in the ballpark of sane, he'll back off.
If he's not, than get a restraining order.
If he shows up at your house, call the cops ..... and deal with the matter defensively.
If he enters your house, deal with the matter with extreme prejudice.

snow

Geez guy you got more problems than anyone ive ever met, it seems to me that the best thing that you can do for yourself is get out of whatever god forsaken little shithole town your in, lose your friends their losers, between your buddies stealing your CD's and now trying to steal your wife, not being able to find a decent job or a car, geting your self severely sunburnt and the host of other issues you have had that you cant seem to handle without help from the forum its time to move

As far your friend goes do whatever you want, personally I would give him the beating of a lifetime but thats just me.

REGARDS SNOW

F1nut

This is the last place I would share about or ask for advice about my personal life.

messiah

That's good that you have a handgun, now grab one for the wife, and teach her how to use it. I'm assuming you're going to man up and tell the guy he was out of line, so you might want to plan a defense strategy in your home in case he gets nuts and forces his way in. Oh, and google "castle doctrine" when you have a chance. It's good to know your options

mrbigbluelight

F1nut wrote: »

This is the last place I would share about or ask for advice about my persoanl life.

Again, very good advice.


The temptation to seek advice probably comes from the fact that the male members of Club Polk are acknowledged masters when it comes to issues relating to the weaker sex.




....... I guess that should be, "the fairer sex".


Or "nicer".

Or "smarter".


But good advice, again, F1.

hearingimpared

Confront the Sgt Carter in a civil manner and tell him in no uncertain terms that he's not you use your wife as a sounding board and you don't appreciate him bad mouthing you because of his emotional state.

Next, see what happens.

If he continues, restraining order. If that doesn't work or he does come around you, your wife or your house, an ambush on the big bully is in order. A good heavy baseball bat when he not expecting it will have him spitting teeth through a broken jaw and he then won't be able to do the trash talking . . . I don't care how big he is, whether he's a black belt or a bad-**** marine, he'll get the message after all the niceties.

F1nut wrote: »

This is the last place I would share about or ask for advice about my personal life.

mrbigbluelight wrote: »

Again, very good advice.


The temptation to seek advice probably comes from the fact that the male members of Club Polk are acknowledged masters when it comes to issues relating to the weaker sex.




....... I guess that should be, "the fairer sex".


Or "nicer".

Or "smarter".


But good advice, again, F1.

I love my friend Jesse and Rick but I again disagree but to each their own and what makes one comfortable may not be the next person's cup of tea.

I think he got a lot of good advice here, advice he may never have received had he not put himself out there.

coolsax

I agree with those who say just drop the guy as a friend.. I don't think you need to get revenge or anything like that .. just tell him to drop dead and if he persists then get a restraining order.

PerfectCreature

Sounds good to me.
I work work at kmart tonight, and know that he will be working at the mall. I will let him know that she is off limits and for him to not talk to her or anything or I will file a restraining order.
Seems to have been mentioned the most. Probably the most effective I guess.

It is the fact he is an ex marine that worries me....because, not offense to those who have served...you just never know what he want through and what he never was able to let go.

Ah well. In any case thanks. I did like all agressive comments they were amusing. Funny thing he wants to be a cop...guess a restraining order would not look to good huh?

Joe08867

Try to keep the Conversation mellow. Do not tell him to chill out or relax if he gets agitated. It only increases the problem.

But stick to your guns. He will loose more respect for you (He doesn't respect you now) if you back down. Stand up for your wife and yourself.

And use the words RESTRAINING ORDER.

Knucklehead

It looks like youve gotten every piece of advice you could possibly imagine, not sure how old you are but being married you must have been able to make a few life decisions on your own...i think....Its one thing to send a PM to a member on a forum you might be tight with, but why anybody would air dirty laundry in such detail is beyond me. From one man to another, this type of thing takes a lot of credibility out of your character. Just my .02.

bsoko2

"After which he would not let her hang up from the phone."

What did he do, sit on her head? Tie her up? Man, sounds like you love a crisis and you both need some serious counseling.

Willow

Do you not have call display? don't answer the phone. Don't give the guy what he wants, which seems like attention. Then he should meet you real best friend, IGGY! If after a while he doesn't get the message, call the cops.

cstmar01

bsoko2 wrote: »

"After which he would not let her hang up from the phone."

What did he do, sit on her head? Tie her up? Man, sounds like you love a crisis and you both need some serious counseling.

This confused me as well. I guess I would just in her spot hang up the phone? Unless he would have been threatening like you hang this phone up and I kill you but then I would go to the cops right away with crap like that.

I guess to me its just drama, crap I would hate to be involved in and just plain pointless. Tell him to grow up, act his age, if he can't find someone to date him then just go find a blow up doll. If he bugs her more or feels like he might do something go to the cops and get a restraining order on him and if he violates it, get him on it.

Just because he's big doesn't mean he's smart. Use your head and don't do something stupid like go punch him, then you are just asking for trouble.

Danny Tse

coolsax wrote: »

I agree with those who say just drop the guy as a friend.. I don't think you need to get revenge or anything like that .. just tell him to drop dead and if he persists then get a restraining order.

This is the best advice.

Btw, the toothpick in the car locks do work. Really.

dkg999

Slip out the back Jack ....................

DMara

PerfectCreature wrote: »

After which he would not let her hang up from the phone.

If that was what your wife said, install cameras at home ASAP

decal

Geez guy you got more problems than anyone ive ever met, it seems to me that the best thing that you can do for yourself is get out of whatever god forsaken little shithole town your in, lose your friends their losers, between your buddies stealing your CD's and now trying to steal your wife, not being able to find a decent job or a car, geting your self severely sunburnt and the host of other issues you have had that you cant seem to handle without help from the forum its time to move.

It looks like youve gotten every piece of advice you could possibly imagine, not sure how old you are but being married you must have been able to make a few life decisions on your own...i think....Its one thing to send a PM to a member on a forum you might be tight with, but why anybody would air dirty laundry in such detail is beyond me. From one man to another, this type of thing takes a lot of credibility out of your character. Just my .02.

What did he do, sit on her head? Tie her up? Man, sounds like you love a crisis and you both need some serious counseling.

My sentiments exactly.