Classes all women should take

snow
snow Posts: 4,337
edited August 2010 in The Clubhouse
Spring Classes for Women
at
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTRE

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
By Friday May 30th 2010

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1
Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 wks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM..

Class 2
Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Drive Past a Store Without Stopping?--Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between a Handbag and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Golf Clubs--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
At 7:00 PM

Class 6
How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield .
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to Shop by Yourself.
Meets 4 wks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors..


REGARDS SNOW
Well, I just pulled off the impossible by doing a double-blind comparison all by myself, purely by virtue of the fact that I completely and stupidly forgot what I did last. I guess that getting old does have its advantages after all :D
Post edited by snow on
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Comments

  • audiobilly
    audiobilly Posts: 351
    edited August 2010
    ^^^^+1 Mil ^^^^^

    I need a class on how to get her to sign up for these classes.
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  • F1nut
    F1nut Posts: 50,474
    edited August 2010
    Lol......
    Political Correctness'.........defined

    "A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a t-u-r-d by the clean end."

    President of Club Polk

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  • cfrizz
    cfrizz Posts: 13,415
    edited August 2010
    Too funny, but I like the guys one better!:p:D

    The only ones I have a problem with are 10 & 11.
    Marantz AV-7705 PrePro, Classé 5 channel 200wpc Amp, Oppo 103 BluRay, Rotel RCD-1072 CDP, Sony XBR-49X800E TV, Polk S60 Main Speakers, Polk ES30 Center Channel, Polk S15 Surround Speakers SVS SB12-NSD x2
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  • fatchowmein
    fatchowmein Posts: 2,637
    edited August 2010
    Wait a minute. Where's the "Steak and Beer When He Walks Through the Door: Continuing the Trend from Girlfriend to Wife"? Must be an advance class.
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  • kevhed72
    kevhed72 Posts: 5,046
    edited August 2010
    Snow, you are my hero...
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  • maximillian
    maximillian Posts: 2,144
    edited August 2010
    How about learning the holiday, "Steak and BJ day" and how to celebrate it correctly?
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  • hearingimpared
    hearingimpared Posts: 21,137
    edited August 2010
    That is funny as all hell Dan!!!
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  • thuffman03
    thuffman03 Posts: 1,325
    edited August 2010
    That is very funny. Don't let the wife/girl friend see this thread.
    Sunfire TGP, Sunfire Cinema Grand, Sunfire 300~2 (2), Sunfire True Sub (2),Carver ALS Platinum, Carver AL III, TFM-55, C-19, C-9, TX-8, SDA-490t, SDA-390t
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  • John30_30
    John30_30 Posts: 1,024
    edited August 2010
    Keiko wrote: »
    I'm enrolling Janey in #6. Thanks snow! :D

    I wish there was an advanced class of #6 for movies. ( movies do not have any commercials, therefore she would have to learn to bottle all commentary for 90 minutes!) :eek:

    ain't gonna happen.:(
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  • disneyjoe7
    disneyjoe7 Posts: 11,435
    edited August 2010
    Thanks for the Laugh, it's all good in my house now since she moved out. :)

    Speakers
    Carver Amazing Fronts
    CS400i Center
    RT800i's Rears
    Sub Paradigm Servo 15

    Electronics
    Conrad Johnson PV-5 pre-amp
    Parasound Halo A23
    Pioneer 84TXSi AVR
    Pioneer 79Avi DVD
    Sony CX400 CD changer
    Panasonic 42-PX60U Plasma
    WMC Win7 32bit HD DVR


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  • cfrizz
    cfrizz Posts: 13,415
    edited August 2010
    fatchowmein wrote: »
    Wait a minute. Where's the "Steak and Beer When He Walks Through the Door: Continuing the Trend from Girlfriend to Wife"? Must be an advance class.

    Actually, you need to take THIS class & buy a clue!:p

    Learning to Live—Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
    Online Classes and role-playing.
    Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
    Marantz AV-7705 PrePro, Classé 5 channel 200wpc Amp, Oppo 103 BluRay, Rotel RCD-1072 CDP, Sony XBR-49X800E TV, Polk S60 Main Speakers, Polk ES30 Center Channel, Polk S15 Surround Speakers SVS SB12-NSD x2
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  • fatchowmein
    fatchowmein Posts: 2,637
    edited August 2010
    cfrizz wrote: »
    Actually, you need to take THIS class & buy a clue!:p

    Learning to Live—Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
    Online Classes and role-playing.
    Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

    My wife tells me that all the time!

    She also says my office looks like a Chinese bazaar with stuff stacked from floor to ceiling and that I should open up a Chinese laundromat because I'm awesome at laundry. No nail shops though. :D
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  • cfrizz
    cfrizz Posts: 13,415
    edited August 2010
    fatchowmein wrote: »
    My wife tells me that all the time!

    She also says my office looks like a Chinese bazaar with stuff stacked from floor to ceiling and that I should open up a Chinese laundromat because I'm awesome at laundry. No nail shops though. :D

    :eek: Snort...waaaaaaaaa!:D
    Marantz AV-7705 PrePro, Classé 5 channel 200wpc Amp, Oppo 103 BluRay, Rotel RCD-1072 CDP, Sony XBR-49X800E TV, Polk S60 Main Speakers, Polk ES30 Center Channel, Polk S15 Surround Speakers SVS SB12-NSD x2
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  • hearingimpared
    hearingimpared Posts: 21,137
    edited August 2010
    cfrizz wrote: »
    Actually, you need to take THIS class & buy a clue!:p

    Learning to Live—Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
    Online Classes and role-playing.
    Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
    cfrizz wrote: »
    :eek: Snort...waaaaaaaaa!:D

    Cath, perhaps you can tell me when the practice of a man coming home from work to be greeted by his wife with an ice cold martini in hand and a negligee stopped and why! I know it was true because I saw it on the TV show "Bewitched" except they had to illiminate the neligee due to the censors!:D
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