Your stimulus check explained

BlueMDPicker
BlueMDPicker Posts: 7,569
edited May 2010 in The Clubhouse
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Sometime this year, *we taxpayers will again receive another “Economic Stimulus” payment.
This is indeed a very exciting program, *and I'll explain it by
using a Q & A format:

Q.What is an 'Economic Stimulus'* payment ?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q.**Where will the government get this money ?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. *So the government is giving me back my own money ?
A. *Only a smidgen of it.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high definition TV set, *thus stimulating the economy.

Q. *But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. *Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
*If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, *the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .
*If you spend it on gasoline, *your money will go to the Arabs.
*If you purchase a computer, *it will go to India , Taiwan or China .**
*If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico ,
Honduras and Guatemala .
*If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
*If *you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .*
**If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, *it will go to manage- ment bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, *keep the money in America by:
1) *Spending it at yard sales, or
2) *Going to ball games, or**
3) *Spending it on prostitutes, ,or**
4) *Beer or**
5) Tattoos.
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )

Conclusion:
Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard
sale and drink beer all day !

No need to thank me, *I'm just glad I could be of help.
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Post edited by BlueMDPicker on
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Comments

  • Jstas
    Jstas Posts: 14,808
    edited May 2010
    Sweet
    Expert Moron Extraordinaire

    You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you!
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  • disneyjoe7
    disneyjoe7 Posts: 11,435
    edited May 2010
    Good one, and will do.

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  • wayne3burk
    wayne3burk Posts: 939
    edited May 2010
    don't forget your Viagra -- American made and american patented....
    Yamaha RX-V2700, EMI 711As (front), RCA K-16 (rear), Magnavox Console (Center & TV Stand), Sony SMP-N200 media streamer, Dual 1249 TT =--- Sharp Aquas 60" LCD tellie
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  • dkg999
    dkg999 Posts: 5,647
    edited May 2010
    Lol!
    DKG999
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  • rooftop59
    rooftop59 Posts: 8,121
    edited May 2010
    wow that's hilarious...
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  • devani
    devani Posts: 1,497
    edited May 2010
    sweet....
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  • Ricardo
    Ricardo Posts: 10,636
    edited May 2010
    BlueMDPicker wrote: »
    *
    Instead, *keep the money in America by:

    3) *Spending it on prostitutes, ,or**

    Well, could be. She/he might be sending half the money to her/his family....
    _________________________________________________
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    Thank God for different opinions. Imagine the world if we all wanted the same woman
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  • PhantomOG
    PhantomOG Posts: 2,409
    edited May 2010
    joking aside, is there really another stimulus check coming? I had no idea if there really is.
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  • greyford1979
    greyford1979 Posts: 749
    edited May 2010
    LMAO!!!!!This just made my day, this was great!:D
    I love animals, they're delicious!
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  • comfortablycurt
    comfortablycurt Posts: 6,745
    edited May 2010
    lmao!!!

    That's awesome!
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  • AsSiMiLaTeD
    AsSiMiLaTeD Posts: 11,726
    edited May 2010
    I believe the stimulus was being paid out over the course of a year, a few bucks a week or some such, not sure though
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  • Ricardo
    Ricardo Posts: 10,636
    edited May 2010
    Keiko wrote: »
    Every month, if you're an illegal, in the form of Welfare. Courtesy of the American taxpayers.

    Really? Illegals receiving welfare? If this is true, then the problem is not the illegals....
    _________________________________________________
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  • yepimonfire
    yepimonfire Posts: 256
    edited May 2010
    sad but true
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  • j allen
    j allen Posts: 363
    edited May 2010
    I like yard sales, tattoos, and sex. Let's go stimulate the economy!

    edit: I also rather enjoy beer!
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  • hearingimpared
    hearingimpared Posts: 21,137
    edited May 2010
    LMAO Mike! Great post.
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  • hearingimpared
    hearingimpared Posts: 21,137
    edited May 2010
    Keiko wrote: »
    http://2009stimuluscheck.net/

    Keiko I would rather have the cost of living increase that they put the kibosh on SSI & SSD recipients for 2010/2011. How could they possibly say the cost of living hasn't increased??????:rolleyes: Congress gave themselves two raises so I guess they had to take the money from somewhere!:mad: I also understand that over the next two years, Medcare cost is going to jump over 200%.:rolleyes::mad: Another fine example of Congress getting great medical benefits while taking it out of our hides.;)

    It seems this all is backasswards.
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  • kevhed72
    kevhed72 Posts: 5,046
    edited May 2010
    Have your say be voting for a 3rd party candidate...(IMO of course)

    Also, not sure how "illegals" would receive welfare if they are "undocumented"
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  • tonyb
    tonyb Posts: 32,953
    edited May 2010
    kevhed72 wrote: »
    Have your say be voting for a 3rd party candidate...(IMO of course)

    Also, not sure how "illegals" would receive welfare if they are "undocumented"

    Just my .02,but 3rd party candidates just split the vote and enable democrats to stay in power. How about we demand more from each party or out they go?
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  • kevhed72
    kevhed72 Posts: 5,046
    edited May 2010
    tonyb wrote: »
    Just my .02,but 3rd party candidates just split the vote and enable democrats to stay in power. How about we demand more from each party or out they go?

    That is one way to view the current situation, but I think giving either party the majority and going back and forth every election cycle, wether it be Congress, the House, or the Presidency, really has not resolved any of the pressing issues over the past 20+ years. Electing 3rd party candiaites would send a pretty strong message IMO. The lesser of 2 evils - DEM vs. REPUB - is still evil. Just another way to look at it :)
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  • hearingimpared
    hearingimpared Posts: 21,137
    edited May 2010
    Tea Party!
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  • j allen
    j allen Posts: 363
    edited May 2010
    kevhed72 wrote: »
    That is one way to view the current situation, but I think giving either party the majority and going back and forth every election cycle, wether it be Congress, the House, or the Presidency, really has not resolved any of the pressing issues over the past 20+ years. Electing 3rd party candiaites would send a pretty strong message IMO. The lesser of 2 evils - DEM vs. REPUB - is still evil. Just another way to look at it :)

    I agree wholeheartedly. I think we should adopt the system used in the Hitchhiker's seriers: Assume that no one who wants to run for president has any business running, and select someone who is extremely unlikely to run, and appoint them to office for a limited term. (This is said in jest, well, at least half in jest)

    Maybe we should fine them for campaigning outside of campaign season. (looks sternly at McCain and Obama)
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  • BlueMDPicker
    BlueMDPicker Posts: 7,569
    edited May 2010
    hearingimpared wrote: »
    tea party!

    xfinity!
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