THE joke thread

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  • pitdogg2pitdogg2 Posts: 18,269
    That also could be Bob Hope or George Burns stand up
  • Klem Kaddidlehopper. 😄
    MrBigBlueLight
    Here to pick your brain & steal your cookies
    Shifting to Plan B+
  • muncybobmuncybob Posts: 2,487
    Also Rodney Dangerfield. The good ole days when you could tell jokes like that on TV and not worry about some sort of sexual related law suit.
    Yep, my name really is Bob.
    Parasound HCA1500(indoor sound) and HCA1000(outdoor sound), Dynaco PAS4, Denon DP1200 w/Shure V15 Type V and Jico SAS stylus, Oppo BDP93, Marantz UD7007, modded Polk SDA 2B.
  • mrbigbluelightmrbigbluelight Posts: 8,415
    ^^^^^Oh....that was good ! Well done. 🇺🇸
    MrBigBlueLight
    Here to pick your brain & steal your cookies
    Shifting to Plan B+
  • NotaSuvNotaSuv Posts: 3,059
    lol not all get it lol
  • BlueMDPickerBlueMDPicker Old Polk Posts: 7,517
    Maybe it's dropped in popularity/usage?
    01001101 01101001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01000110 01001100

    Eastern Electric MiniMax tube CDP | Music Hall MMF-5 | Goldring 1042 | Bottlehead Reduction | Joule Electra LA-100 MKIII | DCM 75+75 amp | Polk SDA 2B with Larry's Rings, silk dome tweeters and crossover upgrades | All cabling PS Audio Statement

  • BlueMDPickerBlueMDPicker Old Polk Posts: 7,517
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    01001101 01101001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01000110 01001100

    Eastern Electric MiniMax tube CDP | Music Hall MMF-5 | Goldring 1042 | Bottlehead Reduction | Joule Electra LA-100 MKIII | DCM 75+75 amp | Polk SDA 2B with Larry's Rings, silk dome tweeters and crossover upgrades | All cabling PS Audio Statement

  • KennethSwaugerKennethSwauger Moderator Posts: 7,706
    This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I’d
    swear I’ve never met herbivore

    I know a guy who’s addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can
    stop any time
    "They say you shouldn't say nothin' about the dead unless it's good. He's dead. Good!", Jackie, "Moms" Mabley
  • muncybobmuncybob Posts: 2,487
    I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people but, most of them don't work.
    Yep, my name really is Bob.
    Parasound HCA1500(indoor sound) and HCA1000(outdoor sound), Dynaco PAS4, Denon DP1200 w/Shure V15 Type V and Jico SAS stylus, Oppo BDP93, Marantz UD7007, modded Polk SDA 2B.
  • KennethSwaugerKennethSwauger Moderator Posts: 7,706
    A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

    A will is a dead giveaway.
    "They say you shouldn't say nothin' about the dead unless it's good. He's dead. Good!", Jackie, "Moms" Mabley
  • KennethSwaugerKennethSwauger Moderator Posts: 7,706
    The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully
    recovered.

    He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.
    "They say you shouldn't say nothin' about the dead unless it's good. He's dead. Good!", Jackie, "Moms" Mabley
  • BlueMDPickerBlueMDPicker Old Polk Posts: 7,517
    Will you be here all week?
    01001101 01101001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01000110 01001100

    Eastern Electric MiniMax tube CDP | Music Hall MMF-5 | Goldring 1042 | Bottlehead Reduction | Joule Electra LA-100 MKIII | DCM 75+75 amp | Polk SDA 2B with Larry's Rings, silk dome tweeters and crossover upgrades | All cabling PS Audio Statement

  • ClipdatClipdat Posts: 9,506
    This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I’d
    swear I’ve never met herbivore

    I know a guy who’s addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can
    stop any time

    OMG. GROAN!!!
  • KennethSwaugerKennethSwauger Moderator Posts: 7,706
    When chemists die, they barium.

    A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
    "They say you shouldn't say nothin' about the dead unless it's good. He's dead. Good!", Jackie, "Moms" Mabley
  • JayDogJayDog Posts: 277
    When chemists die, they barium.

    A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

    barium..I am stealing this one thx!
  • mrbigbluelightmrbigbluelight Posts: 8,415
    Have you people no shame !? 😳

    ......got any more ? 😁
    MrBigBlueLight
    Here to pick your brain & steal your cookies
    Shifting to Plan B+
  • KennethSwaugerKennethSwauger Moderator Posts: 7,706
    No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

    I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
    "They say you shouldn't say nothin' about the dead unless it's good. He's dead. Good!", Jackie, "Moms" Mabley
  • nooshinjohnnooshinjohn Posts: 23,235
    No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

    I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

    Don't you have a day job or something?
    The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, TriangleArt Reference SE with Pass Labs Xono Phono Preamp, Walker Precision Motor Drive, ClearAudio Goldfinger Statement V2 cartridge and Origin Conqueror Mk3c tonearm, Polk Audio "Signature" Reference Series 1.2TL with complete mods, Pass Labs X0.2 three chassis preamp, PS Audio PerfectWave DAC MkII, Pioneer Elite SC-LX701, Oppo UDP-205 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds.

    “Every record has been destroyed or falsified, every book has been rewritten, every picture has been repainted, every statue and street building has been renamed, every date has been altered…History has stopped. Nothing exists except the endless present in which the party is always right” — George Orwell

    “If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”
  • KennethSwaugerKennethSwauger Moderator Posts: 7,706
    Okay, I'll stop.
    "They say you shouldn't say nothin' about the dead unless it's good. He's dead. Good!", Jackie, "Moms" Mabley
  • Tony MTony M Posts: 9,836
    don't stop yet...I need a laugh or two every day.
    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • Viking64Viking64 Posts: 5,557
    If you stop, then the tear or wrists win. :o
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