THE joke thread

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  • warrenwarren Posts: 774
    CH46E wrote: »
    Tony M wrote: »
    se45dcelorcn.png

    Wow, who is she? She looks like Catrinel Menghia.
    A Viking woman.
    Some final words,
    "If you keep banging your head against the wall,
    you're going to have headaches."
    Warren
  • joecoulsonjoecoulson Posts: 4,978
    Slow your roll Warren. She would rip your sails clean off.
  • Tony MTony M Posts: 9,836
    :D
    t9t7c61fvsro.png
    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • warrenwarren Posts: 774
    joecoulson wrote: »
    Slow your roll Warren. She would rip your sails clean off.
    She’d die trying..
    Some final words,
    "If you keep banging your head against the wall,
    you're going to have headaches."
    Warren
  • Tony MTony M Posts: 9,836
    edited November 2020
    I went to our bank to cash a big check today. It's from a reputable nationwide investment firm.

    I've known the clerk that called me up for years and the one before her for years also but he left a couple of years or more ago. I was sooo glad that Janice was the clerk for me today!

    Anyway, After we said our how are you doings, Janice said she had to tell her super to get authorization for cashing it. I said sure.

    He looks at the check and said to me...It's from out of state, we can't cash it. What a joke that seemed to be to me!!!

    Now we've been banking with this bank for 30 frikn' years. In 96 the woman who I approached for my 95 truck loan ( yea, the white & blue ford F150 we still own because USAA gave us the loan + some extra $ to show it off ) said they couldn't loan us the money because our credit was too good. That memory came rushing back "BIG TIME"!!! Same bank, ( Wells Fargo now though ) same room but only 15' away from that dreaded " I'm sorry sir, your credit is too good"..BS )

    I ALMOST told (or wanting to talk in an elevated loudness for all to hear) the jerk to close our accounts and that would've meant he would be giving me a lot more ( maybe double ) than this check was worth...But I just paused for 15 seconds I guess.

    He then suggests I withdraw the same funds from one of our accounts and deposit the check. I paused for 15 more seconds while looking at my friend Janice. She had such a look on her face of "I'm so sorry Tony...this guy just doesn't know you ...").

    I caved and asked him do I have enough in one of the accounts? I knew we did! I just wanted him to acknowledge we weren't destitute. I then said "do it"... >:)

    Janice was so gracious and kind as usual. I'd see her every month at the drive through.

    I'm glad she was working at the inside counter and I got called up to her window. If not for her giving me that funny look when he said what he said, I'm thinking I would've made a scene for real.

    My wife didn't like what had to happen either but....It's HER/our bank!

    Oh...I hope the check clears. :o
    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • ClipdatClipdat Posts: 9,506
    Tony M wrote: »
    He then suggests I withdraw the same funds from one of our accounts and deposit the check.

    tenor.gif
  • Tony MTony M Posts: 9,836
    edited November 2020
    Perfect!!!!!!!!!!!!!^^^^^^^^^^
    That's probably what I looked like!! ;)

    I almost turned into this guy! Thanks to Janice , I didn't!
    6xbqszc708az.png
    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • warrenwarren Posts: 774
    joecoulson wrote: »
    Slow your roll Warren. She would rip your sails clean off.
    She’d die trying..
    Some final words,
    "If you keep banging your head against the wall,
    you're going to have headaches."
    Warren
  • muncybobmuncybob Posts: 2,487
    "couldn't loan us the money because our credit was too good"

    WTF!! I worked in the financial sector for many years, some of that as a bank manager. I would have been fired if my boss would have hear me say this...total BS.
    Yep, my name really is Bob.
    Parasound HCA1500(indoor sound) and HCA1000(outdoor sound), Dynaco PAS4, Denon DP1200 w/Shure V15 Type V and Jico SAS stylus, Oppo BDP93, Marantz UD7007, modded Polk SDA 2B.
  • Tony MTony M Posts: 9,836
    edited November 2020
    muncybob wrote: »
    "couldn't loan us the money because our credit was too good"

    WTF!! I worked in the financial sector for many years, some of that as a bank manager. I would have been fired if my boss would have hear me say this...total BS.

    When I gave her the look that Drew just posted above about the BS the other day..... and then asked what? or excuse me? to that loan officer.

    She said we owned a lot of credit cards and if we maxed out our credit cards, due to our incomes...we wouldn't be able to make the payments that their loan on the truck would be.

    My wife came to me last night and asked if I wanted to switch banks now?

    H*ll yea! :D

    She knew I wanted to switch in 96! I made a little rhyme there. :D I did go to BB&T myself back then. But Social Security wanted a bank account to send payments to, and BB&T closed the branch a mile from my house, I gave them one of our Wells Fargo numbers.

    We talked a bit and it's going to happen. We'll have to have our direct deposits changed to which-ever bank we decide on.

    We just have to research a bank but I'm afraid it's going to be Bank of America. The bank who did Americans wrong about 10 years ago. Nancy's delt with BofA for 25 years through the "Relay for Life" cancer research org.. Nancy was the financial chair person for New Hanover county. The cash I saw that she had to count would make scammers sweat bullits. The Relay for Life financial chair for a neighboring county scammed $55,000 one year but got caught. The "bank teller" who somewhat knew her , eventually caught on to suspicious deposits going into her account instead of the Relay's account.
    The lady got a tummy tuck... :D and a couple of shopping trips in NYC with her 2 daughters.

    The lady quickly paid back what they "THINK" she scammed.
    The woman was well off to begin with! She drove an Infinity SUV like this one. I'm not sure if this is the model but it looks similar if not the one. She paid some 55K back and got 3 or 6 months in our local jail.

    That lady scamming 55K changed the way Relay for Life trusts people forever now.
    7hj5yzefjeae.png


    Post edited by Tony M on
    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • Tony MTony M Posts: 9,836
    My Wife's Birthday

    It’s my wife’s birthday soon and she’s been leaving jewelry catalogs all over the house.
    She'll be happy to know I got the hint.
    I got her a magazine rack! :s
    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • Tony MTony M Posts: 9,836
    More snow

    It was a disastrous year for the farmers. The snow fell and fell until the government relief agency had to step in and lend a hand.
    "It must have been terrible," said the government man to a farmer. "All that snow."

    "Could have been worse," calmly answered the farmer. "My neighbor had more snow than me."
    "How's that?" asked the government man.
    "More land," replied the farmer.
    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • CH46ECH46E Posts: 3,071
    edited November 2020
    Tony M wrote: »
    My Wife's Birthday

    It’s my wife’s birthday soon and she’s been leaving jewelry catalogs all over the house.
    She'll be happy to know I got the hint.
    I got her a magazine rack! :s

    That made me 😆 🤣 😂

    She is going to kick your **** Tony!
  • nooshinjohnnooshinjohn Posts: 23,235
    kclsi1u29ib8.jpg
    The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, TriangleArt Reference SE with Pass Labs Xono Phono Preamp, Walker Precision Motor Drive, ClearAudio Goldfinger Statement V2 cartridge and Origin Conqueror Mk3c tonearm, Polk Audio "Signature" Reference Series 1.2TL with complete mods, Pass Labs X0.2 three chassis preamp, PS Audio PerfectWave DAC MkII, Pioneer Elite SC-LX701, Oppo UDP-205 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds.

    “Every record has been destroyed or falsified, every book has been rewritten, every picture has been repainted, every statue and street building has been renamed, every date has been altered…History has stopped. Nothing exists except the endless present in which the party is always right” — George Orwell

    “If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”
  • Tony MTony M Posts: 9,836
    1nufwpavlm5g.png
    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • Comrade tells joke.

    https://9gag.com/gag/aMxoe4M
    MrBigBlueLight
    Here to pick your brain & steal your cookies
    Shifting to Plan B+
  • nooshinjohnnooshinjohn Posts: 23,235
    edited December 2020
    ...
    The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, TriangleArt Reference SE with Pass Labs Xono Phono Preamp, Walker Precision Motor Drive, ClearAudio Goldfinger Statement V2 cartridge and Origin Conqueror Mk3c tonearm, Polk Audio "Signature" Reference Series 1.2TL with complete mods, Pass Labs X0.2 three chassis preamp, PS Audio PerfectWave DAC MkII, Pioneer Elite SC-LX701, Oppo UDP-205 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds.

    “Every record has been destroyed or falsified, every book has been rewritten, every picture has been repainted, every statue and street building has been renamed, every date has been altered…History has stopped. Nothing exists except the endless present in which the party is always right” — George Orwell

    “If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”
  • CH46ECH46E Posts: 3,071
    Apparently putting Alka Seltzer in my mouth and walking into Speedway gas station shouting the virus has mutated is not funny.

    Pics or it did not happen! Hahahah
  • Tony MTony M Posts: 9,836
    hs3mc45ei2r8.png
    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • KennethSwaugerKennethSwauger Moderator Posts: 7,706
    It would be a shame to have to close this long running thread, keep politics out of it or it will be closed.
    "They say you shouldn't say nothin' about the dead unless it's good. He's dead. Good!", Jackie, "Moms" Mabley
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