I went to our bank to cash a big check today. It's from a reputable nationwide investment firm.
I've known the clerk that called me up for years and the one before her for years also but he left a couple of years or more ago. I was sooo glad that Janice was the clerk for me today!
Anyway, After we said our how are you doings, Janice said she had to tell her super to get authorization for cashing it. I said sure.
He looks at the check and said to me...It's from out of state, we can't cash it. What a joke that seemed to be to me!!!
Now we've been banking with this bank for 30 frikn' years. In 96 the woman who I approached for my 95 truck loan ( yea, the white & blue ford F150 we still own because USAA gave us the loan + some extra $ to show it off ) said they couldn't loan us the money because our credit was too good. That memory came rushing back "BIG TIME"!!! Same bank, ( Wells Fargo now though ) same room but only 15' away from that dreaded " I'm sorry sir, your credit is too good"..BS )
I ALMOST told (or wanting to talk in an elevated loudness for all to hear) the jerk to close our accounts and that would've meant he would be giving me a lot more ( maybe double ) than this check was worth...But I just paused for 15 seconds I guess.
He then suggests I withdraw the same funds from one of our accounts and deposit the check. I paused for 15 more seconds while looking at my friend Janice. She had such a look on her face of "I'm so sorry Tony...this guy just doesn't know you ...").
I caved and asked him do I have enough in one of the accounts? I knew we did! I just wanted him to acknowledge we weren't destitute. I then said "do it"...
Janice was so gracious and kind as usual. I'd see her every month at the drive through.
I'm glad she was working at the inside counter and I got called up to her window. If not for her giving me that funny look when he said what he said, I'm thinking I would've made a scene for real.
My wife didn't like what had to happen either but....It's HER/our bank!
Oh...I hope the check clears.
Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
"couldn't loan us the money because our credit was too good"
WTF!! I worked in the financial sector for many years, some of that as a bank manager. I would have been fired if my boss would have hear me say this...total BS.
Yep, my name really is Bob.
Parasound HCA1500(indoor sound) and HCA1000(outdoor sound), Dynaco PAS4, Denon DP1200 w/Shure V15 Type V and Jico SAS stylus, Oppo BDP93, Marantz UD7007, modded Polk SDA 2B.
"couldn't loan us the money because our credit was too good"
WTF!! I worked in the financial sector for many years, some of that as a bank manager. I would have been fired if my boss would have hear me say this...total BS.
When I gave her the look that Drew just posted above about the BS the other day..... and then asked what? or excuse me? to that loan officer.
She said we owned a lot of credit cards and if we maxed out our credit cards, due to our incomes...we wouldn't be able to make the payments that their loan on the truck would be.
My wife came to me last night and asked if I wanted to switch banks now?
H*ll yea!
She knew I wanted to switch in 96! I made a little rhyme there. I did go to BB&T myself back then. But Social Security wanted a bank account to send payments to, and BB&T closed the branch a mile from my house, I gave them one of our Wells Fargo numbers.
We talked a bit and it's going to happen. We'll have to have our direct deposits changed to which-ever bank we decide on.
We just have to research a bank but I'm afraid it's going to be Bank of America. The bank who did Americans wrong about 10 years ago. Nancy's delt with BofA for 25 years through the "Relay for Life" cancer research org.. Nancy was the financial chair person for New Hanover county. The cash I saw that she had to count would make scammers sweat bullits. The Relay for Life financial chair for a neighboring county scammed $55,000 one year but got caught. The "bank teller" who somewhat knew her , eventually caught on to suspicious deposits going into her account instead of the Relay's account.
The lady got a tummy tuck... and a couple of shopping trips in NYC with her 2 daughters.
The lady quickly paid back what they "THINK" she scammed.
The woman was well off to begin with! She drove an Infinity SUV like this one. I'm not sure if this is the model but it looks similar if not the one. She paid some 55K back and got 3 or 6 months in our local jail.
That lady scamming 55K changed the way Relay for Life trusts people forever now.
Post edited by Tony M on
Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
It’s my wife’s birthday soon and she’s been leaving jewelry catalogs all over the house.
She'll be happy to know I got the hint.
I got her a magazine rack!
Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
It was a disastrous year for the farmers. The snow fell and fell until the government relief agency had to step in and lend a hand.
"It must have been terrible," said the government man to a farmer. "All that snow."
"Could have been worse," calmly answered the farmer. "My neighbor had more snow than me."
"How's that?" asked the government man.
"More land," replied the farmer.
Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
It’s my wife’s birthday soon and she’s been leaving jewelry catalogs all over the house.
She'll be happy to know I got the hint.
I got her a magazine rack!
The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, TriangleArt Reference SE with Pass Labs Xono Phono Preamp, Walker Precision Motor Drive, ClearAudio Goldfinger Statement V2 cartridge and Origin Conqueror Mk3c tonearm, Polk Audio "Signature" Reference Series 1.2TL with complete mods, Pass Labs X0.2 three chassis preamp, PS Audio PerfectWave DAC MkII, Pioneer Elite SC-LX701, Oppo UDP-205 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds.
“Every record has been destroyed or falsified, every book has been rewritten, every picture has been repainted, every statue and street building has been renamed, every date has been altered…History has stopped. Nothing exists except the endless present in which the party is always right” — George Orwell
“If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”
“VERY VERY SAD DAY. A good friend of mine, after 6 yrs of medical school and training has been fired for one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his patients and can no longer work in the profession. What a waste of time, effort, training, and money! The dude is still paying on school loans. Just goes to show you only one minor mistake can ruin ur life. Please pray for him and his family. He is a really great guy and the best veterinarian I know.”
The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, TriangleArt Reference SE with Pass Labs Xono Phono Preamp, Walker Precision Motor Drive, ClearAudio Goldfinger Statement V2 cartridge and Origin Conqueror Mk3c tonearm, Polk Audio "Signature" Reference Series 1.2TL with complete mods, Pass Labs X0.2 three chassis preamp, PS Audio PerfectWave DAC MkII, Pioneer Elite SC-LX701, Oppo UDP-205 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds.
“Every record has been destroyed or falsified, every book has been rewritten, every picture has been repainted, every statue and street building has been renamed, every date has been altered…History has stopped. Nothing exists except the endless present in which the party is always right” — George Orwell
“If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”
1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in
left arm and repeat process.
3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear
paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap.
Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill inside end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10) Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12) Call fire brigade to retrieve the f
cat from tree across
the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.
13) Tie the little b**tard's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak filet. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14) Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the
emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and remove pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15) Arrange for RSPCA to collect "mutant cat from hell" and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
HOW TO GIVE A DOG A PILL:
1) Wrap it in cheese.
Cambridge Audio 851N Streamer/DAC
Belles 21A Pre modded with Mundorf Supreme caps
B&K M200 Sonata monoblocks refreshed and upgraded
Belles 350A Reference modded with Mundorf Supreme caps
Polk SDA 1C's modded
Wireworld Silver Eclipse IC's and speaker cables
There is about a 5% genetic difference between apes and men …but that difference is the difference between throwing your own poo when you are annoyed …and Einstein, Shakespeare and Miss January.
The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, TriangleArt Reference SE with Pass Labs Xono Phono Preamp, Walker Precision Motor Drive, ClearAudio Goldfinger Statement V2 cartridge and Origin Conqueror Mk3c tonearm, Polk Audio "Signature" Reference Series 1.2TL with complete mods, Pass Labs X0.2 three chassis preamp, PS Audio PerfectWave DAC MkII, Pioneer Elite SC-LX701, Oppo UDP-205 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds.
“Every record has been destroyed or falsified, every book has been rewritten, every picture has been repainted, every statue and street building has been renamed, every date has been altered…History has stopped. Nothing exists except the endless present in which the party is always right” — George Orwell
“If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”
The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, TriangleArt Reference SE with Pass Labs Xono Phono Preamp, Walker Precision Motor Drive, ClearAudio Goldfinger Statement V2 cartridge and Origin Conqueror Mk3c tonearm, Polk Audio "Signature" Reference Series 1.2TL with complete mods, Pass Labs X0.2 three chassis preamp, PS Audio PerfectWave DAC MkII, Pioneer Elite SC-LX701, Oppo UDP-205 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds.
“Every record has been destroyed or falsified, every book has been rewritten, every picture has been repainted, every statue and street building has been renamed, every date has been altered…History has stopped. Nothing exists except the endless present in which the party is always right” — George Orwell
“If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”
Apparently putting Alka Seltzer in my mouth and walking into Speedway gas station shouting the virus has mutated is not funny.
The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, TriangleArt Reference SE with Pass Labs Xono Phono Preamp, Walker Precision Motor Drive, ClearAudio Goldfinger Statement V2 cartridge and Origin Conqueror Mk3c tonearm, Polk Audio "Signature" Reference Series 1.2TL with complete mods, Pass Labs X0.2 three chassis preamp, PS Audio PerfectWave DAC MkII, Pioneer Elite SC-LX701, Oppo UDP-205 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds.
“Every record has been destroyed or falsified, every book has been rewritten, every picture has been repainted, every statue and street building has been renamed, every date has been altered…History has stopped. Nothing exists except the endless present in which the party is always right” — George Orwell
“If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”
Yep, my name really is Bob.
Parasound HCA1500(indoor sound) and HCA1000(outdoor sound), Dynaco PAS4, Denon DP1200 w/Shure V15 Type V and Jico SAS stylus, Oppo BDP93, Marantz UD7007, modded Polk SDA 2B.
Yep, my name really is Bob.
Parasound HCA1500(indoor sound) and HCA1000(outdoor sound), Dynaco PAS4, Denon DP1200 w/Shure V15 Type V and Jico SAS stylus, Oppo BDP93, Marantz UD7007, modded Polk SDA 2B.
RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".
Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it. These were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun. And he always ended his programs with the words, "And May God Bless" with a big smile on his face.
HT SYSTEM-
Sony 850c 4k
Pioneer elite vhx 21
Sony 4k BRP
SVS SB-2000
Polk Sig. 20's
Polk FX500 surrounds
Cables-
Acoustic zen Satori speaker cables
Acoustic zen Matrix 2 IC's
Wireworld eclipse 7 ic's
Audio metallurgy ga-o digital cable
Kitchen
Sonos zp90
Grant Fidelity tube dac
B&k 1420
lsi 9's
Comments
"If you keep banging your head against the wall,
you're going to have headaches."
Warren
"If you keep banging your head against the wall,
you're going to have headaches."
Warren
I've known the clerk that called me up for years and the one before her for years also but he left a couple of years or more ago. I was sooo glad that Janice was the clerk for me today!
Anyway, After we said our how are you doings, Janice said she had to tell her super to get authorization for cashing it. I said sure.
He looks at the check and said to me...It's from out of state, we can't cash it. What a joke that seemed to be to me!!!
Now we've been banking with this bank for 30 frikn' years. In 96 the woman who I approached for my 95 truck loan ( yea, the white & blue ford F150 we still own because USAA gave us the loan + some extra $ to show it off ) said they couldn't loan us the money because our credit was too good. That memory came rushing back "BIG TIME"!!! Same bank, ( Wells Fargo now though ) same room but only 15' away from that dreaded " I'm sorry sir, your credit is too good"..BS )
I ALMOST told (or wanting to talk in an elevated loudness for all to hear) the jerk to close our accounts and that would've meant he would be giving me a lot more ( maybe double ) than this check was worth...But I just paused for 15 seconds I guess.
He then suggests I withdraw the same funds from one of our accounts and deposit the check. I paused for 15 more seconds while looking at my friend Janice. She had such a look on her face of "I'm so sorry Tony...this guy just doesn't know you ...").
I caved and asked him do I have enough in one of the accounts? I knew we did! I just wanted him to acknowledge we weren't destitute. I then said "do it"...
Janice was so gracious and kind as usual. I'd see her every month at the drive through.
I'm glad she was working at the inside counter and I got called up to her window. If not for her giving me that funny look when he said what he said, I'm thinking I would've made a scene for real.
My wife didn't like what had to happen either but....It's HER/our bank!
Oh...I hope the check clears.
That's probably what I looked like!!
I almost turned into this guy! Thanks to Janice , I didn't!
"If you keep banging your head against the wall,
you're going to have headaches."
Warren
WTF!! I worked in the financial sector for many years, some of that as a bank manager. I would have been fired if my boss would have hear me say this...total BS.
Parasound HCA1500(indoor sound) and HCA1000(outdoor sound), Dynaco PAS4, Denon DP1200 w/Shure V15 Type V and Jico SAS stylus, Oppo BDP93, Marantz UD7007, modded Polk SDA 2B.
When I gave her the look that Drew just posted above about the BS the other day..... and then asked what? or excuse me? to that loan officer.
She said we owned a lot of credit cards and if we maxed out our credit cards, due to our incomes...we wouldn't be able to make the payments that their loan on the truck would be.
My wife came to me last night and asked if I wanted to switch banks now?
H*ll yea!
She knew I wanted to switch in 96! I made a little rhyme there.
We talked a bit and it's going to happen. We'll have to have our direct deposits changed to which-ever bank we decide on.
We just have to research a bank but I'm afraid it's going to be Bank of America. The bank who did Americans wrong about 10 years ago. Nancy's delt with BofA for 25 years through the "Relay for Life" cancer research org.. Nancy was the financial chair person for New Hanover county. The cash I saw that she had to count would make scammers sweat bullits. The Relay for Life financial chair for a neighboring county scammed $55,000 one year but got caught. The "bank teller" who somewhat knew her , eventually caught on to suspicious deposits going into her account instead of the Relay's account.
The lady got a tummy tuck...
The lady quickly paid back what they "THINK" she scammed.
The woman was well off to begin with! She drove an Infinity SUV like this one. I'm not sure if this is the model but it looks similar if not the one. She paid some 55K back and got 3 or 6 months in our local jail.
That lady scamming 55K changed the way Relay for Life trusts people forever now.
It’s my wife’s birthday soon and she’s been leaving jewelry catalogs all over the house.
She'll be happy to know I got the hint.
I got her a magazine rack!
It was a disastrous year for the farmers. The snow fell and fell until the government relief agency had to step in and lend a hand.
"It must have been terrible," said the government man to a farmer. "All that snow."
"Could have been worse," calmly answered the farmer. "My neighbor had more snow than me."
"How's that?" asked the government man.
"More land," replied the farmer.
That made me 😆 🤣 😂
She is going to kick your **** Tony!
“Every record has been destroyed or falsified, every book has been rewritten, every picture has been repainted, every statue and street building has been renamed, every date has been altered…History has stopped. Nothing exists except the endless present in which the party is always right” — George Orwell
“If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”
“Every record has been destroyed or falsified, every book has been rewritten, every picture has been repainted, every statue and street building has been renamed, every date has been altered…History has stopped. Nothing exists except the endless present in which the party is always right” — George Orwell
“If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”
https://9gag.com/gag/aMxoe4M
Here to pick your brain & steal your cookies
Shifting to Plan B+
1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in
left arm and repeat process.
3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear
paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap.
Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill inside end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10) Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12) Call fire brigade to retrieve the f
cat from tree across
the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.
13) Tie the little b**tard's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak filet. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14) Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the
emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and remove pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15) Arrange for RSPCA to collect "mutant cat from hell" and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
HOW TO GIVE A DOG A PILL:
1) Wrap it in cheese.
Belles 21A Pre modded with Mundorf Supreme caps
B&K M200 Sonata monoblocks refreshed and upgraded
Belles 350A Reference modded with Mundorf Supreme caps
Polk SDA 1C's modded
Wireworld Silver Eclipse IC's and speaker cables
There is about a 5% genetic difference between apes and men …but that difference is the difference between throwing your own poo when you are annoyed …and Einstein, Shakespeare and Miss January.
by Dr. Sardonicus
“Every record has been destroyed or falsified, every book has been rewritten, every picture has been repainted, every statue and street building has been renamed, every date has been altered…History has stopped. Nothing exists except the endless present in which the party is always right” — George Orwell
“If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”
“Every record has been destroyed or falsified, every book has been rewritten, every picture has been repainted, every statue and street building has been renamed, every date has been altered…History has stopped. Nothing exists except the endless present in which the party is always right” — George Orwell
“If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”
“Every record has been destroyed or falsified, every book has been rewritten, every picture has been repainted, every statue and street building has been renamed, every date has been altered…History has stopped. Nothing exists except the endless present in which the party is always right” — George Orwell
“If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”
Pics or it did not happen! Hahahah
Parasound HCA1500(indoor sound) and HCA1000(outdoor sound), Dynaco PAS4, Denon DP1200 w/Shure V15 Type V and Jico SAS stylus, Oppo BDP93, Marantz UD7007, modded Polk SDA 2B.
Parasound HCA1500(indoor sound) and HCA1000(outdoor sound), Dynaco PAS4, Denon DP1200 w/Shure V15 Type V and Jico SAS stylus, Oppo BDP93, Marantz UD7007, modded Polk SDA 2B.
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".
Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it. These were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun. And he always ended his programs with the words, "And May God Bless" with a big smile on his face.
Sony 850c 4k
Pioneer elite vhx 21
Sony 4k BRP
SVS SB-2000
Polk Sig. 20's
Polk FX500 surrounds
Cables-
Acoustic zen Satori speaker cables
Acoustic zen Matrix 2 IC's
Wireworld eclipse 7 ic's
Audio metallurgy ga-o digital cable
Kitchen
Sonos zp90
Grant Fidelity tube dac
B&k 1420
lsi 9's