THE joke thread

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Comments

  • Tony MTony M Posts: 9,303
    What do you call a cow with no legs?


































    ground beef.
    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • Tony MTony M Posts: 9,303
    What do you call a dog with no legs?


































    Any name you want to, it still can't come to you. :s
    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • Tony MTony M Posts: 9,303
    what's the name of the woman at your door with one leg?

































    Ilene. :s
    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • Tony MTony M Posts: 9,303
    What's the name of the guy in your pool with no legs and no arms?


































    Bob. :s
    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • deronb1deronb1 Posts: 5,094
    Guy with no arms or legs on your wall?










    Art
  • deronb1deronb1 Posts: 5,094
    Guy with no arms or legs on your doorstep?









    Matt
  • deronb1deronb1 Posts: 5,094
    Guy with no arms or legs in the bushes?









    Russell....lol
  • Viking64Viking64 Posts: 5,387
    A leper in a bathtub? Stu

  • KennethSwaugerKennethSwauger Moderator Posts: 7,161
    An absent-minded lion tamer?




    Claude
    "They thought we were too loud, but shoot, I had four army blankets folded over my amp, and the volume level was on 2. I'm used to playin' on 10!" S.R.V.
  • Viking64Viking64 Posts: 5,387
    edited January 2018
    I like to spoil my wife. So, every month or two, I'll take her out of the chest freezer and let her rot in the tub for a few days.
  • aprazer402aprazer402 Posts: 1,995
    Spanish lady with no legs...




















    Consuelo
  • OleBootOleBoot Posts: 705
    Dad, how come my sister is called Teresa?"

    "Because your mum loves Easter and it's an anagram of Easter"

    "Thanks Dad"

    "No problem Alan"
  • Tony MTony M Posts: 9,303
    Took me a minute but I got it.^^^^ :D
    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • Tony MTony M Posts: 9,303
    edited January 2018
    What happened to Larry is the biggest ( bad ) joke since this forum was started. :'(
    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • warrenwarren Posts: 696
    Well, if Larry is good with the joke Im good too..
    Some final words,
    "If you keep banging your head against the wall,
    you're going to have headaches."
    Warren
  • Tony MTony M Posts: 9,303
    Larry IS NOT GOOD with it. and a lot of us aren't either. He might not come back!

    It's a joke what's fallen on his shoulders by some politically correct sensitive oversite website forum policeman or policewoman. From something 7 months ago it seems.They should've contacted him and talked it over. They didn't.

    Like the IRS. They just send you a notice and that's it. I know.
    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • ClipdatClipdat Posts: 8,531
    Tony I just sent you an epic rant via PM about the supreme rulers that would probably get me banned if posted it!
    Tony M wrote: »
    Larry IS NOT GOOD with it. and a lot of us aren't either. He might not come back!

  • warrenwarren Posts: 696
    Then I’m not good with it. If this forum is run like a buisness then the 1st is out the window and the rules take precedent. Sounds to me like a faux pas..
    Some final words,
    "If you keep banging your head against the wall,
    you're going to have headaches."
    Warren
  • Tony MTony M Posts: 9,303
    Yup, That what it seems to be. Not even thoughtless, just noticing something in a guys picture. Heck, I love it when guys pick out things in pictures here that I overlook easily at my age. It's mostly just a little...Hey, I noticed ..... . Just a noticing.
    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • warrenwarren Posts: 696
    Yeah Tony thats how the Gulag was filled up with political prisoneers..
    Some final words,
    "If you keep banging your head against the wall,
    you're going to have headaches."
    Warren
  • verbverb Posts: 10,235
    From my retired friend who lives in Florida:

    Two young businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break
    in their soon-to-be new store in the shopping mall.
    As yet, the store's merchandise wasn't in . . .
    only a few shelves and display racks set up.

    One said to the other,
    "I'll bet that any minute now some senior is going to walk by,
    put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling."

    Sure enough, just a moment later, a curious senior gentleman
    walked up to the window, looked around intensely and rapped
    on the glass, then in a loud voice asked,

    "What are you selling here?"

    One of the young businessmen replied sarcastically,
    "We're selling a$$-holes."

    Without skipping a beat, the old timer said,
    "You must be doing very well. Only two left."

    Seniors -- don't mess with them.
    They didn't get old by being stupid!
    Basement: Polk SDA SRS,Cary SLP-05 Pre,Enlightened Audio Designs CD Transport,Northstar Designs Excelsio DAC,Cambridge 851N streamer,Marantz SA-14 SACD,McIntosh MC300 Amp,Silnote Morpheus Ref2 Digital Cable,Furman 15PFi Power Conditioner,Pangea Power Cables,Wireworld Oasis 8 RCA IC's,MIT Shotgun S3 IC's,MIT Shotgun S1 Bi-Wire speaker cables
    Office: PC,EAR Acute CD Player,EAR 834L Pre,Northstar Designs Intenso DAC,PASS ACA Monoblocks,Denon UDR-F10 Cassette,Acoustic Technologies Classic FR Speakers,SVS SB12 Plus sub,MIT AVt2 speaker cables,IFI Purifier2,AQ Cinnamon USB cable,Groneberg Quatro Reference IC's
    Spare Room: Antique Sound Labs Wave AV-8 Monoblocks,Tisbury Mini Passive Pre,Tjoeb 99 tube CD player (modified Marantz CD-38),Analysis Plus Oval 9's,Zu Jumpers,AudioEngine B1 Streamer,Klipsch RB-61 v2,SVS PB1000 sub,Blue Jeans RCA IC's
    Living Room: Peachtree Nova Integrated,Cambridge CXN v2 Streamer,Rotel RCD-1072 CD player,Furman 15PFi Power Conditioner,Polk RT265 In Wall Speakers,Polk DSW Pro 660wi sub
  • Tony MTony M Posts: 9,303
    edited February 2018
    I wish we has an emogi with hands over the eyes and one with hands over its ears too.

    WOW, that was PAINFUL to watch AND hear... Whooa...I can't go to sleep now. :s

    But it was very well edited with perfect timing and rhythm.

    I'll have to let my blood pressure come back down after seeing that video. :#
    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • Tony MTony M Posts: 9,303
    I never saw a clip of him doing that. That was funny! TURN EM OFF! B)
    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • verbverb Posts: 10,235
    As an Air Force veteran ('83-'87 E5), my buddy sent this to me:

    DOD was conducting an All Service study and the officer in charge asked the question: What would you do if you found a scorpion in your tent?



    A Sailor said, "I'd step on it."



    A Soldier answered, "I'd squash it with my boot."



    A Marine said, I'd catch it, break off its stinger and eat it."



    An Airman said, "I'd call room service and find out why there was a tent in my room.
    Basement: Polk SDA SRS,Cary SLP-05 Pre,Enlightened Audio Designs CD Transport,Northstar Designs Excelsio DAC,Cambridge 851N streamer,Marantz SA-14 SACD,McIntosh MC300 Amp,Silnote Morpheus Ref2 Digital Cable,Furman 15PFi Power Conditioner,Pangea Power Cables,Wireworld Oasis 8 RCA IC's,MIT Shotgun S3 IC's,MIT Shotgun S1 Bi-Wire speaker cables
    Office: PC,EAR Acute CD Player,EAR 834L Pre,Northstar Designs Intenso DAC,PASS ACA Monoblocks,Denon UDR-F10 Cassette,Acoustic Technologies Classic FR Speakers,SVS SB12 Plus sub,MIT AVt2 speaker cables,IFI Purifier2,AQ Cinnamon USB cable,Groneberg Quatro Reference IC's
    Spare Room: Antique Sound Labs Wave AV-8 Monoblocks,Tisbury Mini Passive Pre,Tjoeb 99 tube CD player (modified Marantz CD-38),Analysis Plus Oval 9's,Zu Jumpers,AudioEngine B1 Streamer,Klipsch RB-61 v2,SVS PB1000 sub,Blue Jeans RCA IC's
    Living Room: Peachtree Nova Integrated,Cambridge CXN v2 Streamer,Rotel RCD-1072 CD player,Furman 15PFi Power Conditioner,Polk RT265 In Wall Speakers,Polk DSW Pro 660wi sub
  • warrenwarren Posts: 696
    Better than the funnies..
    Some final words,
    "If you keep banging your head against the wall,
    you're going to have headaches."
    Warren
  • verbverb Posts: 10,235
    So true!
    usp66ywts2bb.png
    Basement: Polk SDA SRS,Cary SLP-05 Pre,Enlightened Audio Designs CD Transport,Northstar Designs Excelsio DAC,Cambridge 851N streamer,Marantz SA-14 SACD,McIntosh MC300 Amp,Silnote Morpheus Ref2 Digital Cable,Furman 15PFi Power Conditioner,Pangea Power Cables,Wireworld Oasis 8 RCA IC's,MIT Shotgun S3 IC's,MIT Shotgun S1 Bi-Wire speaker cables
    Office: PC,EAR Acute CD Player,EAR 834L Pre,Northstar Designs Intenso DAC,PASS ACA Monoblocks,Denon UDR-F10 Cassette,Acoustic Technologies Classic FR Speakers,SVS SB12 Plus sub,MIT AVt2 speaker cables,IFI Purifier2,AQ Cinnamon USB cable,Groneberg Quatro Reference IC's
    Spare Room: Antique Sound Labs Wave AV-8 Monoblocks,Tisbury Mini Passive Pre,Tjoeb 99 tube CD player (modified Marantz CD-38),Analysis Plus Oval 9's,Zu Jumpers,AudioEngine B1 Streamer,Klipsch RB-61 v2,SVS PB1000 sub,Blue Jeans RCA IC's
    Living Room: Peachtree Nova Integrated,Cambridge CXN v2 Streamer,Rotel RCD-1072 CD player,Furman 15PFi Power Conditioner,Polk RT265 In Wall Speakers,Polk DSW Pro 660wi sub
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