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Lirpa Labs Ultimate Multi-Bit Quantum Converter

Last but not least, I thought I'd discuss the newest advancement in high-end audio science from the intrepid Dr. Sloof Lirpa, Professor of Transcendental Physics at the Poliotechnik Klinik of East Slobovia. Dr. Lirpa's background includes many years of study both in Eastern Europe under the most up to date scientists of the Russian communist era, where he helped design the Ukraine nuclear reactors, and several externships in China during Mao's cultural revolution where he learned how to build and use the best computers of the time. Many years ago, at the beginning of his career he developed high end audio products which received much acclaim in the pages of the high end audio publications of the day, usually, for some reason, announced in early April, probably because of the academic spring break.

Since the introduction of digital playback by those damn money-grubbing record companies who wanted to sell us over and over those 1950's classics, we have all complained about how even the best digital just does not come up to even mid-level analog reproduction. After years of experimentation, Dr. Lirpa has developed what he considers to be the best method of digital to analog reproduction.

Like me, Dr. Lirpa noted that computers make very good playback units, quantifying the bits as well as most high end machines out there, but like all digital playback mechanisms, "lose the certain je ne sais quoi of analog, possibly related to the sensations of directly working with the medium of analog" (his words, not mine). He felt that even the 24/96 PCM and single bit DSD just didn't live up to analog's smooth gapless waveform. Therefore, he decided to produce a new system using 104 bits spread over 11 separate converters which could be infinitely manipulated to reproduce the analog equivalent.

While he has succeeded in producing a model of the above, and has asked for a patent on it from the Outer Slobovian government, he still has a few quirks to work out of the system. First, the machine can only put out clicks at present rather than continuous sound, and thus, he has had to hire a bard from the Slobovian National Theater to voice the data derived. Second, while the computations are fairly quick and very accurate, it does take much practice for the operator to understand and manipulate the system.

Dr. Lirpa, pictured below with his invention, is hoping to have all of the kinks worked out by next April first, when, for cost sake and their long history of building digital components, he will present it to the Chinese government for production.