Ever hear "I'm gonna rip you a new @%$ hole?"

BaggedLancer
BaggedLancer Posts: 6,371
edited May 2008 in The Clubhouse
Well, tonight that unfortunate expression became all too true. However, the emergency room didn't rip me a new one, they cut me a new one. Literally.

Turns out for the past couple weeks my lower back pain was actually a Pilonidal cyst developing. I neglected it so bad that it got to the point I couldn't sit down yesterday for more than 2 minutes at a time and found myself standing to type at work and home. Today, I said f it and went to the gym after taking 2 advil to get rid of the pain. I get to the gym, and while I'm working out I feel something sorta of pop and I went to the bathroom and found a nice little wet spot of blood and other gooey stuff on my shirt that was tucked in and all over my boxers. I immediately left the gym and off to the emergency room I went.

They ended up having to making a rather large incision(over an inch) above my factory installed **** hole and they sucked out and scooped out all the mess that was inside what the doctor called the biggest pilonidal cyst she has ever seen. She even went as far to ask me as how I lasted so long not seeing a doctor because of the amount of fluid that was pouring out of it. They had to fill the void with this gauze stuff and I have to go see a surgeon on Monday and my primary care on Tuesday or go back to the emergency room. The process was rather disgusting and extremely painful and I am standing at my computer now typing this waiting for my prescription perkisets to kick in.

I'd take some pics but no one wants to see my hairy italian **** that they partially shaved covered in a giant bandage thing.

To anyone, if you feel something like a golf ball in your tailbone area......GO TO THE DOCTOR.
Post edited by BaggedLancer on
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  • Early B.
    Early B. Posts: 7,900
    edited May 2008
    Wow. I really hope you heal up quickly.
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  • BaggedLancer
    BaggedLancer Posts: 6,371
    edited May 2008
    Oh, and I forgot the funniest part of the whole thing, while it was the female doctor cutting my **** open, there was a male nurse who was incredibly feminine....not saying he was ****, but he was there the entire time assisting on my ****. Talk about ackward.....oh well, can only laugh it off at this point.
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  • cfrizz
    cfrizz Posts: 13,415
    edited May 2008
    OOOOUUUUCCCCHHHH!!!!

    You are just like every other dumbass man! Too chickenlivered to go to a doctor even when in bad pain!

    I hope you feel better soon & heal quickly.
    Marantz AV-7705 PrePro, Classé 5 channel 200wpc Amp, Oppo 103 BluRay, Rotel RCD-1072 CDP, Sony XBR-49X800E TV, Polk S60 Main Speakers, Polk ES30 Center Channel, Polk S15 Surround Speakers SVS SB12-NSD x2
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  • obieone
    obieone Posts: 5,077
    edited May 2008
    My condolences! Had something similar a few years back, but it was on the OTHER side, in the 'choad' region. I went to my primary doctor, and told the receptionist that I was going to need the stirrups. She thought I was joking and started laughing. I explained that I wasn't. They TOO had to make a small incision, but not THAT long though.
    I wish you a speedy recovery.

    BTW, now when people call you a big a**hole, you can say "You're RIGHT:o"
    I refuse to argue with idiots, because people can't tell the DIFFERENCE!
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  • exalted512
    exalted512 Posts: 10,735
    edited May 2008
    And you wonder why it was so painful...
    -Cody
    Music is like candy, you have to get rid of the rappers to enjoy it
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  • BaggedLancer
    BaggedLancer Posts: 6,371
    edited May 2008
    damnnnnn perkisets kick in fast :D
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  • strider
    strider Posts: 2,568
    edited May 2008
    Husband stitch?
    Wristwatch--->Crisco
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  • ohskigod
    ohskigod Posts: 6,502
    edited May 2008
    dude, I actually rode one of those out with no medical assistance, THAT's much more stupid.

    wound up hearing what a pilonidal cyst was and described what I went through to a T. Insane pain, no sitting. popped, gooey **** came out, I just kinda drained it on my own. if that happens again, I'm going straight to the doc
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  • BaggedLancer
    BaggedLancer Posts: 6,371
    edited May 2008
    ohskigod wrote: »
    dude, I actually rode one of those out with no medical assistance, THAT's much more stupid.

    wound up hearing what a pilonidal cyst was and described what I went through to a T. Insane pain, no sitting. popped, gooey **** came out, I just kinda drained it on my own. if that happens again, I'm going straight to the doc


    Mine had popped but she said it was so deep in it would have never drained properly and I would have had to go to the doctor ER anyway and potentially could have had a larger hole made.....NO THANKS. Glad I didn't take my dads advice to ride it out and just went to the ER on my own thinking.

    And insane pain really doesn't describe it, I was seeing stars. And nope, no sitting.
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  • schwarcw
    schwarcw Posts: 7,341
    edited May 2008
    OUCH!

    Sorry to hear about your medical problems. I wish you a big get well soon!
    Carl

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  • TroyD
    TroyD Posts: 13,085
    edited May 2008
    I had one for years. It would pop and drain all on it's own...what they did at the ER was make an incision in it and drain it out. IF it comes back, do not eff around (as I did) and let it get infected. I ended up having a nice section of my **** removed, now THAT hurt.

    BDT
    I plan for the future. - F1Nut
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  • BottomFeeder
    BottomFeeder Posts: 1,684
    edited May 2008
    Thanks for giving a cliche a nice visual!

    Blech!
    "Wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then." Bob Seger
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  • Face
    Face Posts: 14,340
    edited May 2008
    Pics or it didn't happen. :D

    Feel better bud.

    Did they give you one of those donuts to sit on for the time being?
    "He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you." Friedrich Nietzsche
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  • BaggedLancer
    BaggedLancer Posts: 6,371
    edited May 2008
    Face wrote: »
    Did they give you one of those donuts to sit on for the time being?


    Can't sit at all right now. :(
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  • Ricardo
    Ricardo Posts: 10,636
    edited May 2008
    So now you have a ported ****??? ;)

    Sorry to hear that, and hope you feel better.
    _________________________________________________
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  • disneyjoe7
    disneyjoe7 Posts: 11,435
    edited May 2008
    OUCH, and hope you feel better soon.

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  • ND13
    ND13 Posts: 7,601
    edited May 2008
    WAAAY too much information!!



    Get well.
    "SOME PEOPLE CALL ME MAURICE,
    CAUSE I SPEAK OF THE POMPITIOUS OF LOVE"
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  • wingnut4772
    wingnut4772 Posts: 7,519
    edited May 2008
    What the hell causes that?!:eek:
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  • brettw22
    brettw22 Posts: 7,623
    edited May 2008
    BaggedLancer wrote: »
    I'd take some pics but no one wants to see my hairy italian **** that they partially shaved covered in a giant bandage thing.
    Definitely do NOT want to see pics of that.........but enjoy the itchy regrowth in a few weeks..........haha
    comment comment comment comment. bitchy.
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  • ben62670
    ben62670 Posts: 15,969
    edited May 2008
    Thats funny kinda. You got rid of one a$$hole problem, and got another:eek::D
    Please. Please contact me a ben62670 @ yahoo.com. Make sure to include who you are, and you are from Polk so I don't delete your email. Also I am now physically unable to work on any projects. If you need help let these guys know. There are many people who will help if you let them know where you are.
    Thanks
    Ben
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  • Fongolio
    Fongolio Posts: 3,516
    edited May 2008
    Heal quickly dude. I feel for you bro'
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  • obieone
    obieone Posts: 5,077
    edited May 2008
    "****??? Damn near killed him!!!":p

    Sorry, I couldn't resist
    I refuse to argue with idiots, because people can't tell the DIFFERENCE!
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  • avelanchefan
    avelanchefan Posts: 2,401
    edited May 2008
    BaggedLancer wrote: »
    Well, tonight that unfortunate expression became all too true. However, the emergency room didn't rip me a new one, they cut me a new one. Literally.

    Turns out for the past couple weeks my lower back pain was actually a Pilonidal cyst developing. I neglected it so bad that it got to the point I couldn't sit down yesterday for more than 2 minutes at a time and found myself standing to type at work and home. Today, I said f it and went to the gym after taking 2 advil to get rid of the pain. I get to the gym, and while I'm working out I feel something sorta of pop and I went to the bathroom and found a nice little wet spot of blood and other gooey stuff on my shirt that was tucked in and all over my boxers. I immediately left the gym and off to the emergency room I went.

    They ended up having to making a rather large incision(over an inch) above my factory installed **** hole and they sucked out and scooped out all the mess that was inside what the doctor called the biggest pilonidal cyst she has ever seen. She even went as far to ask me as how I lasted so long not seeing a doctor because of the amount of fluid that was pouring out of it. They had to fill the void with this gauze stuff and I have to go see a surgeon on Monday and my primary care on Tuesday or go back to the emergency room. The process was rather disgusting and extremely painful and I am standing at my computer now typing this waiting for my prescription perkisets to kick in.

    I'd take some pics but no one wants to see my hairy italian **** that they partially shaved covered in a giant bandage thing.

    To anyone, if you feel something like a golf ball in your tailbone area......GO TO THE DOCTOR.

    I had that about 6 years ago. In fact the doctor that "popped" mine said that those cysts are one of the most painful procedures to endure. I remember I about came off the bed when they did mine. I never want to experience that again.

    BTW- When I had mine I was on vacation. I could barely sleep before I took a flight home. I had to take a 3 hour flight, then drive another 3 hours before I could see my doctor. I was miserable by the time I got to the ER. All of this while taking care of my 7 and 5 year old boys.
    Sean
    XboxLive--->avelanchefan
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  • mrbigbluelight
    mrbigbluelight Posts: 9,840
    edited May 2008
    So, does this mean you'll be able to **** in stereo ?


    Hope you heal up fast, with the percoset I'm sure you're feeling fine.
    Sal Palooza
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  • BaggedLancer
    BaggedLancer Posts: 6,371
    edited May 2008
    mrbigbluelight wrote: »
    So, does this mean you'll be able to **** in stereo ?


    Hope you heal up fast, with the percoset I'm sure you're feeling fine.

    Yes, I've been ripping them left and right now in sync, sounds great.
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  • BaggedLancer
    BaggedLancer Posts: 6,371
    edited May 2008
    wingnut4772 wrote: »
    What the hell causes that?!:eek:

    There is absolutely nothing the doctor said that causes it, they just occur. Apparently they are relatively common and the only way to deal with them is to go see a doctor.
    Lasareath wrote: »
    I want to see the youtube video of the whole procedure!

    I'm not going to embed the pictures, but here a link to get an idea of where/what they cut open:

    http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=pilonidal+cyst&gbv=2
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  • BaggedLancer
    BaggedLancer Posts: 6,371
    edited May 2008
    Interesting morning so far, feels like ive been walking around with a wad of toilet paper stuck in my bum.
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  • danger boy
    danger boy Posts: 15,722
    edited May 2008
    HOLY SH&T! that is disgusting, and sounds to painful. I hope I never get one of those.

    I agree with Cathy... get your **** to the Dr. next time much earlier. don't wait till it pops. I must be one of the few men who actually go to the doctor at the drop of a hat. Your health and well being are way to important to toy with.

    Hope you heal fast and end up with just one hole in the end.
    PolkFest 2012, who's going>?
    Vancouver, Canada Sept 30th, 2012 - Madonna concert :cheesygrin:
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  • danger boy
    danger boy Posts: 15,722
    edited May 2008
    Whatever you do.. DO NOT search Wikipedia for a Pilonidal cyst :eek:
    PolkFest 2012, who's going>?
    Vancouver, Canada Sept 30th, 2012 - Madonna concert :cheesygrin:
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  • BaggedLancer
    BaggedLancer Posts: 6,371
    edited May 2008
    danger boy wrote: »
    Whatever you do.. DO NOT search Wikipedia for a Pilonidal cyst :eek:

    :D

    No need to search here, I just need to grab a mirror. :o
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