I'm in trouble with my daughter.

Rivrrat
Rivrrat Posts: 2,101
edited January 2008 in The Clubhouse
As one or two of you might remember, I coach youth girls soccer, U16 this season.

I'm putting together my all star travel team for the spring tourney circuit, and there was a player I was interested in inviting, except my daughter really doesn't like her to the point where my daughter said she wouldn't play if she did. I explained to her that it's a team sport ...yada yada, that every year there was a player she didn't like and she got over it..yada yada, but she was digging in her heels.

Finally I told her she wasn't blackmailing me and if she didn't like it, too bad, lots of girls want an invite to play on this team, and I'd fill her spot on the team within a day or two.

Well I invited her tonight and she accepted. My daughter isn't happy, but she looked like she accepted it.

I hope I don't have to go looking for a replacement.
My equipment sig felt inadequate and deleted itself.
Post edited by Rivrrat on
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Comments

  • cambir
    cambir Posts: 1,045
    edited January 2008
    I taught and coached this age for a few years. If she likes soccer enough, she'll "tolerate" it...she may not like it, but she may like soccer more than she dislikes this other girl.

    Good luck with your daughter and tournament.
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  • disneyjoe7
    disneyjoe7 Posts: 11,435
    edited January 2008
    I don't have kids but I think that needs some time out.

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  • danger boy
    danger boy Posts: 15,722
    edited January 2008
    she'll get over it... and you only want for what's best for the team.. and this invited player is probably pretty good I would think. it's a team game.. all for one, and one for all. type of thing.
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  • Mike Reeter
    Mike Reeter Posts: 4,315
    edited January 2008
    Tough age to be a kid,tough age to be a parent...But,you've made the right call.
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  • cfrizz
    cfrizz Posts: 13,415
    edited January 2008
    You did the right thing. She should be in trouble with YOU not the other way around. Explain to her that this is real life. She will someday have a job & might be surrounded or have to work closely with someone she doesn't like. SHE WON'T HAVE THE OPTION TO QUIT!

    So tell her welcome to the the real world, suck it up & get with the program or you will leave her butt at home & put someone in who is really committed to the game!
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  • bdaley6509
    bdaley6509 Posts: 1,167
    edited January 2008
    Might be a great opportunity for those 2 to become friends. Hopefully they can iron out their differences and make a friendship connection. Good luck.
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  • I-SIG
    I-SIG Posts: 2,238
    edited January 2008
    You did the right thing, I think.

    How did y'all do in the Ft. Lowell Shootout?

    Wes
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  • bigyank
    bigyank Posts: 224
    edited January 2008
    You did the right thing. She has to know that hey this is life, learn to deal with it! Tough thing for them to do (I have a 16 yo daughter!) as the world centers around them!

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  • ledhed
    ledhed Posts: 1,088
    edited January 2008
    When I was 15-17 (only two years ago) I was on a team with people I couldn't (and still can't) stand. It didn't matter though during competition, we sucked it up and acted like a team. I think this proved a very valuable lesson as now on film sets if I don't get along with someone too bad - I gotta deal with it.

    I've noticed that most of the people younger than me have a hard time sucking it up and just quit or give up when things don't go their way. Its sad really.

    I think you did the right thing.
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  • Bill Ayotte
    Bill Ayotte Posts: 1,860
    edited January 2008
    ledhed wrote: »
    I've noticed that most of the people younger than me have a hard time sucking it up and just quit or give up when things don't go their way. Its sad really.

    I have noticed this too. I work with a couple of younger people, and sometimes I just want to throttle them. I really don't care if you don't like doing this task or not, you are getting paid to work here, and this happens to be part of the job you were hired to do...It's not burning dookie in a metal drum with diesel fuel, go wash the damn dishes and STFU.
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  • steveinaz
    steveinaz Posts: 19,536
    edited January 2008
    It's entirely impossible to be in trouble with your kid, unless of course, they are buying the groceries.
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  • BIZILL
    BIZILL Posts: 5,432
    edited January 2008
    good call. had you listened to her, she'd know who is really the boss.

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  • BaggedLancer
    BaggedLancer Posts: 6,371
    edited January 2008
    Buy her an ipod, she'll get over it.
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  • Rivrrat
    Rivrrat Posts: 2,101
    edited January 2008
    Thanks all for the positive comments. This whole issue was less about soccer and more about control, imho, and no way I'm going to let a 14 yr old establish control over me.

    We've already explained to her she didn't have to play if she didn't want to, but if she didn't, she wasn't going watch the games and sulk, she was going to stay home instead. that changed her attitude about everything pretty quick.

    edit... We just talked, and her response to getting the other girl was she's pretty good and it's better to have her than not have her, and she'd be fine with the whole thing.
    You did the right thing, I think.

    How did y'all do in the Ft. Lowell Shootout?

    We didn't do the shootout this year. I have HS girls that just finished last thurs. One of the complaints about that tourney is the timing, they pretty much stop at U15 becuse the HS kids can't play club while on a HS team
    Buy her an ipod, she'll get over it.

    She got an 8 gig nano for Christmas. :rolleyes:
    My equipment sig felt inadequate and deleted itself.
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  • movtarget
    movtarget Posts: 125
    edited January 2008
    +1 to what cfrizz said.

    Good opportunity to learn about the real world she'll face more on her own someday. What better way to learn about it, but when she has her support system (you) right by her side.

    Good decision, good parenting.

    Movtarget
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  • BaggedLancer
    BaggedLancer Posts: 6,371
    edited January 2008
    Rivrrat wrote: »



    She got an 8 gig nano for Christmas. :rolleyes:

    Time for a 19" LCD TV for the bedroom then.

    I'm telling you, bribes always work. I've never seen a bribe fail with a kid.
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  • hearingimpared
    hearingimpared Posts: 21,137
    edited January 2008
    Rivrrat wrote: »
    Finally I told her she wasn't blackmailing me and if she didn't like it, too bad, lots of girls want an invite to play on this team, and I'd fill her spot on the team within a day or two.

    I've that there are lots of things that our loving children so well blackmailing and manipulation. You nipped it in the bud and that is the way to do.

    Good job pop!
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  • RuSsMaN
    RuSsMaN Posts: 17,987
    edited January 2008
    They will probably end up being best friends, bridesmaids at each others wedding, etc etc. Seen it happen more than once.
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  • Shizelbs
    Shizelbs Posts: 7,433
    edited January 2008
    You did the right thing.

    I wouldn't bet against Russ.
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  • BaggedLancer
    BaggedLancer Posts: 6,371
    edited January 2008
    RuSsMaN wrote: »
    They will probably end up being best friends, bridesmaids at each others wedding, etc etc. Seen it happen more than once.

    Been a bridesmaid before Russ?:D
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